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The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal

Pop Goes The Weasel 'Cause The Weasel Goes Arf

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    Basic Info
    Name:The Ferrett
    Birthdate:1969-07-03
    Location:Cleveland, Ohio, United States
    Website:The Ferrett's Domain

    Contact:

    Bio

    A Complete List Of My Professionally Published Fiction


    My Twitter feed
    My OKCupid Profile
    My Flickr stream
    My very snarky reviews of Cleveland restaurants

    Visit "My Name Is Might Have Been, co-written by the guy who writes this journal along with World Fantasy Award-nominated author [info]yuki_onna! Or heck, just friend [info]mynameismight to be alerted when it's updated!


    Visit Home On The Strange!

    Visit the now-completed www.homeonthestrange.com
    written by the guy who writes this journal and illustrated by [info]roniliquidity!


    The Ferrett is a grouchy fuck who likes complaining, good movies, corduroy pillows, strange and bizarre stories, the downfall of modern civilization, shoulder rubs, watching bizarre surgical procedures, and in general watching humanity make an ass of itself. Say what you will, but as a form of entertainment you NEVER run out of things to watch.

    A Note On Friends: Feel free to friend me. I visit all people who've friended me from time to time, but I only friend you back if I feel I must absolutely see what you say the minute you say it. Otherwise, I drop by when I can. (I used to drop by once a month, but man has my friends list expanded.) I do try to read everyone who's friended me; it's the least I can do.

    If you're wondering, "How the fuck did he get that many friends?", here's your answer: The Compleat Guide To LiveJournal Stardom and Fame (plus the followup Whoring For Comments and the serious advice on How To Avoid Psychodrama). Also note that LJ users can tag any of my entries at will - I have given you all full power to label my writings as you please - so go nuts. Just keep in mind that others can overwrite you.

    Also, I hate LJ-Cuts. I find them annoying; the only things that should be cut are bandwidth-chewing photos and spoilers. (Speaking of which, here's the official spoiler policy on this journal. Short version: if it's over a decade old, you shoulda seen it by now.) If you have something to say, don't wuss it away behind some cut! If it's as interesting as you think it is, gimme the entire thing. If not, then don't bother. Be warned that should you friend me, I do blather.

    If you like my emoticons, the images are stolen directly from The Ferret Tarot, only $14.95 and well worth the money. (I'm not a pagan, but I like ferrets.)

    The Complete Ferrett Chronicles
    There are some stories I don't write just so I'll have something to say at parties. There's nothing more I hate than launching into one of my old-time classics, then hearing a bored, "Oh yeah - you wrote about that, didn't you?"

    Damn. Foiled again. One day I'll run out of witty things to say, and I'll just walk around lamely handing out URLs. "Here ya go, this is funny, read it when you get the time."

    But if I were to write my autobiography, at least, most of it would be already in print. Given that I've put most of my amusing anecdotes to paper, the book is half-written. So you wanna know who I am and what I'm about? It's all here.

    Beginnings and High School Years

    College and Drifting

    The Disastrous Ann Arbor Years

    With Gini

    The Philosophy Of A Weasel

    Connect

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    alan moore, anecdotes, angel, beating dead horses, buffy the vampire slayer, call of cthulhu, cat stevens, champions, d&d, d20, deadlands, delta green, doctor who, douglas adams, er, fark.com, farscape, father ted, fawlty towers, fight club, frank miller, freedy johnston, futurama, george and gracie allen, george carlin, grant morrison, h.p. lovecraft, harlan ellison, involuntary hysterectomies, jack benny, joe lansdale, john doe, john totleben, king of the hill, magic the gathering, matthew woodring stover, nofx, old time radio, otr, performing mass abortions, piercing, planescape, red dwarf, roleplaying, scott mccloud, seinfeld, sex, simpsons, south park, star wars, starcitygames, surgical disasters, the great gildersleeve, they might be giants, tivo, traci lords, twilight zone, unknown armies, unwrapped, webmastering, x-entertainment, yes minister, zoethe, zombie bukkake

    Schools:

    Norwalk Community College - Norwalk, CT
    Norwalk High School - Norwalk, CT (1983 - 1987)
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    2bq, _diane, acrylic_after, aerin, aethyta, ahsirakh, aiela, albionidaho, albumlady, alegriayamor, alioth, amaltheae, amalthya, amberite, andrewducker, ann_leckie, anotherjen, apocalypse_0, asakiyume, asim, atdt1991, autographedcat, avocadovpx, azahru, azurelunatic, babymonkey, baronbrian, barryr, bart_calendar, batshua, bayarts, bec76, bfirrera, blairwitchgreen, blazepoet, bleiweiss, blergeatkitty, blisterguy, bloodredcheval, blue_lucy, bnbalder, bonerici, boutell, bradhicks, brandietarvin, brownsfan56, brujah, butterandjelly, calamityjake, cargill, cassiealexander, cathschaffstump, catrambo, caudelac, ccr1138, cg_waters, charity_whore, chipuni, chris_reynaga, christianneil, cislyn, ckastens, cleolinda, cmpriest, coffeeinhell, coppervale, copperwise, correspondguy, corvaxgirl, crystalrowan, crystalvh, csecooney, custardfairy, cyan_blue, cynic51, daghain, dania_audax, daphne24, darlox, darth_junior, darthfox, das_hydra, davehogg, dawntreader90, dawnwolf, delosd, demetria23, demiurgent, dglenn, dien, dk_leathers, docbrite, doomflower, dreagoddess, drowningmermaid, dubhtaobh, dylia, earthenwood, edge_ofthe_sea, elfwench, emmycantbemeeko, enggirl, entropyjim, ericmonster, erikas_mansarde, ersatzinsomnia, etain, evandorkin, evokateur, ewysiwyg, ex_cwp, ex_sorormys, ex_transfig, faelad, figmentj, force_of_will, fortuna_juvat, funwithrage, fuschia, genericrick, gerbertovna, gieves, gkingsley, glorioushubris, gothwalk, grailquestion, greybeta, grimmjest, hannunvaakuna, happydog, hedonistpoet, heizusan, her_lens_flared, hilarityallen, his_angel, hooks_and_books, hooloovooo, howmanystories, hps_sterling, hunter_rose76, iain, icyphoenix, ijk, infowidget, inner_linbo, irishbanshee, iroshi, iscari0t, iyarwein, jackofmany, jaded_dreamer, janigrey, jarodrussell, jaylake, jeanniemac, jennb45, jenphalian, jfargo, jfs, jimhines, joemorf, jul3z, jumpinfool, justbeast, kalio_plaid, kathrynrose, katranna, katspaw156, katzinoire, kehrli, ken_schneyer, kenshi, keyan_bowes, khiron1416, kibbles, kibler, kid_lit_fan, kijjohnson, kimbyrle, kimmaline, kisekinotenshi, kitanzi, kithraya, kittydahlerina, kkrouner, kmg_365, koibito007, krylyr, kspragg, kylakae, kylecassidy, kyra, la_mills, ladydragonryder, ladytabitha, leanerbean, leopardprints, lifeislike, little_ribbit, littlebuhnee, llemay, llemma, lordindra, lovemonk, ls56, lysana, lyssabard, madmanpoet, manifestress, mariadkins, marieofroumania, maryturzillo, mcsnee, melanie, meyerweb.com, mightyafrodite, mightydoll, miintikwa, mikandra, mikester, minchdexter, miripanda, mishamish, misshallelujah, mixedknuts, mmohanraj, mollyblack, montecook, montykins, moocowrich, moominmuppet, mseuphrates, msginnyo, msretro, mymichelle, n3rd3tt3, naamah_darling, nayad, neilcarver, netmouse, nex0s, nicked_metal, notadoor, nuadha_prime, nuala, of_little_note, off_coloratura, ofoghorn, ohhjuliet, olliesmama, ona_tangent, onceupon, one_true_nate, oneminutemonkey, owlswater, pabsungenis, pacdenmutha, paradoxicalme, partywhipple, peacockharpy, perich, perseph12, pfrank, pharminatrix, phillipalden, phreakgirl, pi216, pixievixen, pjammer, polymorphism, poobah103, practicallyfame, pretendpeterpan, progeer, ps238principal, puckathon, purplkat, qe2, quasiconformal, queenseye, ravenblack, rbradakis, reasie, rebelcoyote, rebuilder, rev_tobias, revtoby, roadnotes, robvagle, rollick, roniliquidity, roomette, rosalarian, sacramentalist, sageautumn, saraphina_marie, scarletdemon, scarletts_awry, scathedobsidian, scouseboy, servermonkey, sevenravens, seventorches, sfeley, shadesong, shadowwolf13, shardsofsilver, shawnj, shaxper20, sheenaqotj, sherborne, sheryl67, shezan, shiftercat, shveta_thakrar, shweta_narayan, sibylla, silenceleigh, silmaril, skogkatt, smckeown, smmenen, sneakingyoda, snippy, speedball, spikeindenver, splitlegend, spookykat, stacymckenna, stealthcello, sub_is_strong, suburbfabulous, sunyata__, susiemutha, susitna, suzieboz, systemcrasher, tablesaw, tacologic, taliface, tempter, tessbelle, tfcocs, the_xtina, theferret, therinth, thestalkycop, thetisra, thewhitedragon, thezvi, throwingstardna, time_shark, tithenai, tobias_buckell, tooth_and_claw, tranari, tweezlebum, twoofdtm, tybuc, tychaios, ultraferret, undertheivy99, usmu, varna, veiledvenus, vidicon, vienneau, voiceofanangel, vrax, vylar_kaftan, warmage, weds, william_mize, wiredaces, with_gusto, wolfieboy, wolflady26, wundergeek, wynterknight, xhollydayx, xiphias, xydexx, yakavenger, yendi, yerrolemodel, ysabel, yuki_onna, zarhooie, zhent, zigurat, zodarzone, zoethe

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