The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - A Plug For A Magazine
June 3rd, 2006
12:29 pm

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A Plug For A Magazine
My belly is currently full of turkey meatloaf. They call it "light" turkey meatloaf because it has few calories... But when it's so good that you have to have two big honkin' slabs of this delectable, herb-filled delicacy, it weighs in your stomach like a happy anchor.

But I would expect nothing less from Cook's Illustrated.

If you're any kind of chef, I'd recommend Cook's Illustrated because they are frickin' insane. They approach everything from a scientific bent, taking classic recipes and making them over and over again until they get it right - changing one ingredient, making a whole new batch, running it by a panel of testers, and repeating until they get it perfect. I first realized how nuts they were when they made a hundred and thirty batches of different biscuits to make something flaky and delightful.

To read Cook's Illustrated is to see anal retentiveness made into quivering flesh. They will review, with a straight face, eight kinds of spatulas, and grade each of them on three different scales. Reading their recipes is half the fun, because a Cook's Illustrated recipe is a mystery. They have a good idea for a foodstuff, but how can they best achieve it? You read through the various cooking techniques they experimented with, documenting their successes with buttermilk marination and their failures with cracked crusts until they finally get it right. By seeing what doesn't work, you wind up inadvertently honing your technique.

And they are delightfully arrogant. Every single Cook's Illustrated recipe starts like this:

"Macaroni and cheese sounds like such a good idea, the standard dish of the American picnic. So how in God's name did this squirming abortion of congealed cheese and limp noodles pass muster with the American palate? All too often, what should be a delightful melange of toothy noodles and chewy cheese becomes a set of limp curls of defeated pasta, sitting like dead maggots in a heap of burnt curdles. What the fuck is wrong with people?

"We had no choice but to try to rescue this ugly, deformed dish from its sad past to raise it to the heap of greatness that it should rightfully attain..."

Seriously. Every recipe starts with a description of how the dish should go, clucks its tongue at the sad state of how the dish is currently made, and then inspirationally discusses how Cook's Illustrated will bring it back to life! To hear them tell it, it's like watching Jesus resurrect the loaves from the dead.

But their arrogance is at least earned. I have never gotten a bum recipe from Cook's Illustrated, who will frequently discover that the perfect dish involves cans of stewed anchovy hairs and then backtrack to find a substitute that can be bought at the local supermarket. They consistently deliver, and I gotta say - their light meatloaf puts my dark meatloaves to shame.

So go, you guys. You rock. Keep saving dishes from the garbage heap of the world, and I'll keep buyin'.

(Tell me I'm full of it)

Comments
 
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From:[info]sibylla
Date:June 3rd, 2006 04:32 pm (UTC)
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Amen! Testify, Brother [info]theferrett, tell it like it is!
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:35 pm (UTC)
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You know it, girl.
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From:[info]theinfamousmom
Date:June 3rd, 2006 04:43 pm (UTC)
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We've subscribed to Cook's Illustrated for a couple years now, and the only complaint I have about their recipes is their casual assumption that you've got all day to spend in the kitchen making whatever-it-is. Let's face it, a lot of those yummy meals take a long time to put together.

However, if you spring for their monster 3-ring-binder cookbook, that's where you find the quick-and-easy stuff alongside all those all-day classics, and they've got illustrated instructions and useful information like how long stuff should last before it goes bad. My daughter gave me that cookbook and I was able to get rid of three other cookbooks I'd been keeping around for reference.

Plus, if you watch their "America's Test Kitchens" show on PBS you get to see Christopher Kimball being a goofball, which is as interesting to watch as are all the recipes they show you how to do.
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:36 pm (UTC)
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We picked up the three-ring notebook at CostCo - yeah, we're broke, but recipes help us to eat cheap - and I look forward to reading it. I don't usually read cookbooks, but theirs are worth it.

The show, I don't like as much. It's nice, but it's no Rachael Ray. Can't say why, either (aside from the obvious lack of hotness, which doesn't bother me that much).
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From:[info]arkhamrefugee
Date:June 3rd, 2006 04:55 pm (UTC)
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At my culinary school, some of us treat Cooks Illustrated like most people treat Consumer's Digest or American Scientific - good for basic recipes, scientific explinations of food creation and gadget evaluations but short on artistic fallderall. Please note that while I do love artistic fallderall, I want to have the recipe TASTE good before I try to make it LOOK good.

But then, that's just me and a lot of people at my school disagree.
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:37 pm (UTC)
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Their presentation is usually very lacking. But that's irrelevant to me, as a home cook. But yeah, I do make the comparison between CI and Consumer Reports.
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From:[info]mechagm
Date:June 3rd, 2006 05:02 pm (UTC)
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I love that magazine, the chili con carne recipie I use is based on theirs... but what I like even more than their magazine is the television show that they produce.

America's Test Kitchen.

It shows on PBS around here on Saturday afternoons. It's hard to track down sometimes, but, IMO, it's worth doing so.
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From:[info]nounsandverbs
Date:June 3rd, 2006 05:14 pm (UTC)
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Cook's Illustrated I think was the best investment we ever made.
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
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Indeed it is for us as well. I love their recipes.
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From:[info]jfargo
Date:June 3rd, 2006 05:15 pm (UTC)
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So, how much are they paying you for getting this commercial out to your thousands of readers?

I mean, I know you're making me want to buy them. You should be getting some kind of a kick back for what you're doing for them, right?
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
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I wish.

They could pay me in books.
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From:[info]nuala
Date:June 3rd, 2006 05:23 pm (UTC)
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I don't eat red meat anymore, generally. My turkey lasagne and spaghetti have become the stuff of legends. Ok, none of my friends have complained about it. So would you be willing to share this Turkey Meatloaf recipe? Please?
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From:[info]heatermcca
Date:June 5th, 2006 07:13 pm (UTC)
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One of the lovely things about the magazine is the free trial. And I don't mean "this is free - but only for 14 days, and only if you buy a subscription." They're also very good about taking a "No, thanks," and not suddenly sending you forty billion things you're not remotely interested in, unlike Cooking Club of America, which I cannot represent and wish I had never responded to, much less went ahead and paid for 2 years of.

There are plenty of other, non-red meat recipes, too, in most every issue, and every cover features a lovely oil painting of a food item.
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From:[info]heathrow
Date:June 3rd, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC)
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Love the magazine and their cooking show.
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From:[info]lyssabard
Date:June 3rd, 2006 05:39 pm (UTC)
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I think I need this magazine. NEED.
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From:[info]zoethe
Date:June 3rd, 2006 06:32 pm (UTC)
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Considering your interest in healthy eating, I'd recommend Cooking Light instead. Also excellent recipes, but an effort made to control calories. Cook's Illustrated does not spare the butter, olive oil, or cheese. And the food is so damned good that you eat way too much - a really rotten 1-2 punch!
(no subject) - (Anonymous) Expand
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From:[info]pogodragon
Date:June 3rd, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC)
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If you appreciate the scientific approach to cooking it may be worth running the name Heston Blumenthal through Google. The bloke does insane things with food, and they work - apparently - I've never eaten at any of his restaurants, but if someone wants to take me there I'd love to sometime.
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From:[info]sunfell
Date:June 3rd, 2006 06:29 pm (UTC)
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Doggone it, Ferrett- a spit-take warning, please!

But I love, love, love the recipes! They had a potsticker recipe to die for earlier this year, and their chicken enchiladas are now on my main rotation. That they are putting Asian stuff into their mag is great! The Cooks Country is an excellent magazine, too- not as scientific as CI, but last issue had a lovely PF Chang style lettuce wrap recipe!

Just got my latest CI today- gonna have to try their Pizza Margherita recipe!
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:42 pm (UTC)
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Funny - we just made the chicken enchiladas this afternoon. Good stuff.
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From:[info]blookum
Date:June 3rd, 2006 06:30 pm (UTC)
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I used one of their recipes once to make a cheesecake - I actually had to set an alarm to get up in the middle of the night to move it from a locked spare bedroom (cooling out of reach of a dairy-mad cat) into the fridge. All told, I think the recipe took 12 or 13 hours to make if you included cooling time.

But it RAWWWWKKKED!
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From:[info]merle_
Date:June 3rd, 2006 06:43 pm (UTC)
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Ah, you should try Harold McGee's "On Food And Cooking". It doesn't have the cluckiness, but does have more science, and a drier wit. I cannot cook worth anything (well, maybe jello), but loved reading McGee. Cook's was.. okay, but not as inspiring, somehow.
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From:[info]gieves
Date:June 5th, 2006 04:26 pm (UTC)
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Oh, I love On Food and Cooking! I had to buy it for a "History of Food" class I took in college, and I enjoyed it so much that I read it cover-to-cover for fun.

I'm also a fan of Shirly Corriher's Cookwise: The Secrets of Cooking Revealed for her explanations of food science.
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From:[info]guttaperk
Date:June 3rd, 2006 06:50 pm (UTC)
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their light meatloaf puts my dark meatloaves to shame

Racist.

;-)
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:48 pm (UTC)
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But they are my dark meatloaves. This isn't racism so much as it is ancestral shame.
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From:[info]saaxton
Date:June 3rd, 2006 08:33 pm (UTC)
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becomes a set of limp curls of defeated pasta, sitting like dead maggots in a heap of burnt curdles.

Mmmmmm maggots! What a wonderful way to get me hungry for mac-n-cheese!

::HORK!::
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From:[info]metachaos
Date:June 3rd, 2006 08:53 pm (UTC)
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I just got their The New Best Recipe book. I've only done one recipe from them. It was cheesecake. I have -never- made real cheesecake before, but this turned out awesome. I was amazed. (It was burnt around the edges but that is the fault of the oven which I think runs about 25 degrees hotter than the dial says. Need thermometer.)
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:49 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, their recipes have carried me through some times when I didn't know how to cook. I like a recipe that's better than I am.
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From:[info]ravenblack
Date:June 3rd, 2006 08:58 pm (UTC)
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That sounds like my sort of cooking magazine, if I was ever happy using recipes - instead I just do the same thing they do, for myself, starting with mental experimentation to make the first batch decent, then refining the results in subsequent batches. I don't like actual recipes because they always take *so long*, and also require ingredients I don't have on hand and don't want to go out and buy just for the one meal.
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From:[info]webercook
Date:June 3rd, 2006 09:05 pm (UTC)

The grill in fired up

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...sitting in the rain nonetheless, getting all nice and toasty in preparation for searing then grill roasting a set of pork chops, per the recipe in the sample issue of Cook's Illustrated that I was sent.

Not my first run through of the recipe, in fact my second, because the first was so yummy (and we buy our meat at the local warehouse club)

My point is that I totally second your comments on Cook's Illustrated, and I find in kind of scary that you post about it on the day we decided to prepare a recipe contained in its pages.

I've ordered a subscription and eagerly await future issues.

P.S. You post about fridge cleaning happened on the day my wife was cleaning the fridge. I think I really need to unfriend you, it's getting a little scary.
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:50 pm (UTC)

Re: The grill in fired up

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Well, see, it's not unusual for us since we do Cook's Illustrated recipes all the time. But cleaning the fridge? Now that is a coincidence.
From:[info]eukarya
Date:June 3rd, 2006 09:06 pm (UTC)

Cook's is overrated

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I've had less problems with recipies from Martha Stewart magazines and cookbooks and Fine Cooking than with cooks. Which may be due to the fact that the magazines who people who make the recipies themselves tend to use actual cooks, not a bunch of high-functioning geeks trying to impress other high-functioning geeks.

Years ago Cook's had these horrible recipies for rougalache without sugar in the dough, pizza dough to be made in food processor, and buttercream made without vanilla, and some other horrors. At the very least they should get a few actual cooks and pastry chefs who have had experience in the food industry and business for once before coming out with another issue, or at the very least consult professional books made for professional chefs so they might not have to experiement in thier kitchens like they usually do five-hundred times per recipe.
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:35 pm (UTC)

Re: Cook's is overrated

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Sorry, chief. On the one hand, we have an unknown person - you - telling me that they have "horrible" recipes. On the other hand, we have three years' worth of immaculate recipes personally cooked by me, each one being the gold standard of its kind, and usually requested at parties afterwards.

They may use non-standard techniques, or ingredients you disagree with. But their food works, regardless of what you may think.
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From:[info]tormentedartist
Date:June 4th, 2006 02:47 am (UTC)
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I need to get a copy of that book. See like you I see myself cooking for my girlfriend. And hopefully I will be able to work from home by the time I move in ...so thanks that was an awesome plug.
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From:[info]carinn
Date:June 4th, 2006 04:01 am (UTC)
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Cooks Illustrated is the best cooking magazine.

my dad is obessed with it so much, he was the hard cover books for 2004 and 2005's magazines all put together, even though i'm pretty sure he owns atleast half of the magazines already
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:50 pm (UTC)
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We have a complete library of 'em.

It's verra nice.
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From:[info]nurrynur
Date:June 4th, 2006 07:31 pm (UTC)
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"Squirming abortion"?? Please tell me THEY didn't actually have that in the cookbook?

Ew, Ferrett, eww... And I just had mac n cheese for lunch..
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From:[info]phule77
Date:June 4th, 2006 09:23 pm (UTC)
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I have generally been impressed by their recipes (I use them for most of my cookies) but I have to say, their oatmeal cookies SUCK the big hosepipe.

They come out like briquettes.

The absolute best oatmeal cookie recipe is on the reverse side of the Quaker Oatmeal container. Bar none.

But everything else, yes, they're genius.
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From:[info]prodigal
Date:June 5th, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC)
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They sound like the cooking equivalent of Mad Scientists. In a good way.
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From:[info]kenshi
Date:June 5th, 2006 09:13 pm (UTC)
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I've been a subscriber for a couple of years and absolutely love this magazine.

And I don't even like to cook.
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