The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - It's The Tits, Man

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February 10th, 2006
08:07 am

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It's The Tits, Man

I post stories about myself, but I’m not always the hero. Yet people think that I think I’m the hero.

Reread that sentence. It makes sense after a moment, I promise.

See, I write stories about myself where I am clearly not a nice guy or where I am discussing what an asocial loser I am. And yet no matter how damaging the things I post are, people still assume that I have some sort of secret agenda designed to make me look good. “Oh, you’re just looking for compliments!” they say, or “You’re obviously thrilled at how you cheated on your girlfriend, or you wouldn’t have crowed about it to the world!”

But sometimes, I’m just showing you a part of me.

Look, a lot of the times I am the hero; I can’t deny that. After all, I’m the one telling the stories, and so my interpretation of my actions is usually in the best light. And I can’t always tell the worst stories about myself – I’d cheerfully share the times when I was an utter dick, but frequently my ex-girlfriends are reading the page and it would make me even more of a putz to haul out their worst moments and dredge them up for public scrutiny.

But there are a lot of times that I talk about things because I am insanely self-revelatory. I post things because I think they’re some other facet of me, good or evil. I’m not here to make you think better of me; I’m here to tell you what I’ve done. If you understood what I wrote and still think that I’m a colossal jackass, then I’m content.

I know that others do try to manage their online image. They delete negative comments, and filter their posts heavily so the wrong people can’t spread news in ways that they haven’t authorized, and get bent out of shape whenever someone posts about them without their permission. But I don’t do any of that, because it doesn’t really work and you just wind up with a lot of psychodrama. Everything you see is pretty much what I saw (except when Gini complains because she feels that I’ve inadvertently revealed a part of her that she wanted private).

Now. I hope you understand why I post, and fathom my motivations a little better. Because God fucking knows I don’t want anyone thinking that I am somehow bragging about this picture.

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(Tell me I'm full of it)

Comments
 
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From:[info]amyty
Date:February 10th, 2006 01:13 pm (UTC)
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God, please give me a trainer-bra joke no one's already heard..
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From:[info]elfwench
Date:February 10th, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC)
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Such a big picture!

Nothing to be ashamed of. I like man-tits! :) Of course, I like my men cuddly. (Don't worry, [info]zoethe, my man is plenty cuddly for me!) But, you're lopsided. No... not the tits, the piercings... You need one more on the other side!
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From:[info]saomigray
Date:February 10th, 2006 01:24 pm (UTC)
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I've read most of what you've posted online and let me just say you do not come off as in any way a hero in the vast majority of them. (But I mean that in the best possible way) ;)
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:February 11th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC)
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Well, thanks. I'm glad of that.
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From:[info]mishamish
Date:February 10th, 2006 01:25 pm (UTC)
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I wondered about the lack of posts so far to this...

It must be that so many people are either reeling and/or blind from clicking the link.

I know I am! :-P

In other news, I was playing hooky from work yesterday, but how about lunch today? Huh? HUH?! Ya wanna?! Ya wanna?!?!?!
[User Picture]
From:[info]theferrett
Date:February 11th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC)
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Alas, I missed this! I couldn't have anyway, but next week?
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From:[info]kmg_365
Date:February 10th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)

The Jig Is Up, Ferrett.

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Now we know the real inspiration behind Karla's recent storyline.

Ferrett is trying to build up his own army of followers in attempt to take over the world. One man-boob cleavage shot at a time.
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From:[info]julesbourglay
Date:February 10th, 2006 01:41 pm (UTC)

FUCK

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Dude, one cannot UNSEE something. Just thought I'd say, is all…
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From:[info]purrthecat
Date:February 10th, 2006 01:53 pm (UTC)

Re: FUCK

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*laughs out loud* Actually, that's pretty much exactly what I was about to say.
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From:[info]cubes
Date:February 10th, 2006 01:58 pm (UTC)
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Dude, how about a little warning when I haven't even had coffee yet?
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:February 11th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC)
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NSFB?
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From:[info]zendequervain
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:06 pm (UTC)
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Something tells me that I should be grateful that picture wouldn't load on my work computer. Hahah.
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From:[info]tybuc
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:10 pm (UTC)
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I fully expect to see huge bronze statues based upon that image in public places in highly advanced future civilizations. If that cryogenics technology works out that is.
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From:[info]kimmaline
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:10 pm (UTC)
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I have never, ever, said something to you merely to garner your affections. Probably because it wouldn't work....and I'm not that kind of girl, anyway.

But, honestly, I was expecting it to be WAY worse. I wouldn't call them man-boobs, exactly....more like what man-boobs could be if they tried really hard when they grew up.

Your man-boobs need to apply themselves, if they want to be seriously gross.
From:[info]sclerotic_rings
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:14 pm (UTC)
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Don't sweat it: it's only bad when the people at your funeral start chanting "His name is Robert Paulsen. His name is Robert Paulsen..."
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From:[info]cieo
Date:February 11th, 2006 03:05 am (UTC)
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Oh, Meatloaf :)
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From:[info]pachamama
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:25 pm (UTC)
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Did you know that fat tissue produces oestrogen? Man tits aren't just fat on the chest; they are actually a development of female secondary sex characteristics as the result of too much oestrogen in your system being produced by the body fat all over your body.

Which means if you carry on losing fat, they will go.
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From:[info]zero_the_fool
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:29 pm (UTC)
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Did you have to resist giggling when you wrote "but sometimes, I’m just showing you a part of me?"
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:February 11th, 2006 02:55 pm (UTC)
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No, actually, I didn't even realize that until now. And now I'm giggling.
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From:[info]zoethe
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:34 pm (UTC)
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Other than the fact that the picture is staggeringly oversized...

I think you're awfully cute.
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From:[info]kmg_365
Date:February 10th, 2006 04:10 pm (UTC)
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Other than the fact that the picture is staggeringly oversized...


Thank god I went to the link from work. The image is quite large - a Save As shows it as being 9MB. It would have killed our puny 56Kb connection at home.

Yes, we're still on dial-up.
From:[info]i_aldarion
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:42 pm (UTC)
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Nice nipple ring. *L*
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From:[info]tearsofaclown
Date:February 10th, 2006 02:55 pm (UTC)
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Your expression in the picture amuses me endlessly, because it just seems like you find flashing a camera so run-of-the-mill.
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From:[info]yamakage
Date:February 10th, 2006 03:01 pm (UTC)
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I'M BLIND!

(Not really, my manboobs are worse.)
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From:[info]tonights
Date:February 10th, 2006 03:17 pm (UTC)
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Okay. Do you seriously have a pierced nipple? How did I miss this?

*jaw drops*
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From:[info]kmg_365
Date:February 10th, 2006 04:08 pm (UTC)
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Have you read Ferrett's essay on piercings? I don't think he mentions that he got his nipple pierced in that essay, but if memory serves, it's a hoot.

Then again, most of his essays on his site are.
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From:[info]revmts
Date:February 10th, 2006 03:28 pm (UTC)
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umm.. sorry?

this might cheer you up.

http://revmts.livejournal.com/46738.html#cutid1

it's 24 based humor.
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From:[info]zendequervain
Date:February 10th, 2006 03:52 pm (UTC)
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I wanted to read it, but it's a 'protected entry.' :( Oh well.
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From:[info]apostate_96
Date:February 10th, 2006 03:37 pm (UTC)
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That's actually one of the reasons I like reading your blog. You don't try to put yourself across as some kind of saint or paragon; you're willing to be seen as a PERSON. Part of that includes the foibles and shortcomings and mistakes that we all make. And, for what it's worth, the entries of yours that I've read describing things you've done or handled badly didn't come off like you're trying to be a hero.

And I can really relate.
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From:[info]gardenwaltz
Date:February 10th, 2006 03:51 pm (UTC)
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you just look human to me. really, you'll have to try much harder to go outside acceptable limits.
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From:[info]hiromasaki
Date:February 10th, 2006 03:55 pm (UTC)
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It could be worse...

A former Working Designs employee posted a picture of himself clothed only in a Street Fighter towel and whipped cream. With ten times the manboobs you have.

*shudder*
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From:[info]theferrett
Date:February 11th, 2006 02:56 pm (UTC)
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Mmmm. Class.
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From:[info]narcissam
Date:February 10th, 2006 03:56 pm (UTC)
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I just read the post and thread about cheating and was at turns enlightened and baffled, the latter mostly at some of the commenters. Woah. But, if I could add my response to that very belatedly, thanks. I've been through that situation on the sidelines, with my brother as the cheater. My gut instinct was better that his girlfriend's even though I saw less of him, perhaps because I'd known him from childhood. And he tried to make me feel I was the irrational one, so I wouldn't communicate my suspicion to her. That it was totally *normal* to hang out with his girlfriend's friend at her house all the time. For a while I felt maybe I was the prudish suspicious person, but I turned out to be quite right.

Still haven't quite forgiven my brother for messing with my mind, even though he seems to be improving in character bit by bit.
From:[info]adigitalpimp
Date:February 10th, 2006 04:29 pm (UTC)
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I really should have known better, but I clicked on the link to see the picture while at the college computer lab.

Didn't get in trouble. But I got a lot of strange looks and questioning glances. And just like the trees that randomly explode into 20d6 fireballs, no explanation was ever offered.
From:[info]adigitalpimp
Date:February 10th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
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About a minute later, while I was getting ready to log off and head to the comic shop, I distinctly heard the phrase "Ferrett Porn."
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From:[info]lornemir
Date:February 10th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
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Hey baby...
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