The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - The Benefits Of Lying
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03:13 pm
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The Benefits Of Lying
Today, I achieved a vast milestone in my exercise program: I definitively burned more calories in a single session than I ever have in a single run. I destroyed 530 of the little suckers today while running to Hour Nine of 24, and while I've cracked 500 by a few points before, 530 is it.
Of course, the ridiculous thing about the treadmill is that it's broken on so many levels. For one thing, it's stupidly fast and probably goes about a mile over its stated speed; Gini and I have walked five miles in an hour without running, but when my treadmill hits the big red "5" you'd better jog or get tossed off the back. And the calorie count gives no additional credit for angle, since I run at an average of a three-degree tilt; if I run my way up an imaginary hill of three degrees, six degrees, or no degrees, it makes not one whit of difference to The Merciless Calorie Counter.
Yet, ridiculously, it's my yardstick. It may be arbitrary in its whims, but it is at least fixed. And after forty-five minutes of effort, I can now eat not one, but two containers of yogurt without feeling guilty.
The funny thing is that I didn't set out to break a record today. I didn't even want to get on the damn thing. But I heaved my way downstairs and lied right to my face. "We'll just run for the first six-minute interval," I said. "After that, we'll walk the rest of the time." I ran, then walked briskly for four minutes, and when the clock hit 10:00 I said, "Well, you can just do one more six-minute rep, can't you? We'll walk the rest of the time."
By the time it was done I was blue in the face from both exhaustion and lying, but I had done it. And I think that's largely the trick to exercise, as my wife has noted - no matter how lousy a job you think you're going to do, get out there and give yourself an out. Promise you'll quit, but at least try this much and see where it leads you.
You'll be a much healthier schizophrenic.
Tags: advice, exercise, exercise sucks, my wife
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| | If I put my treadmill at 5mph, it would definitely be a full-out run. I wonder if it has something to do with the age of my treadmill (it has to be at least 8 years old). I think in my case it's definitely time for an upgrade.
So you do walk/run intervals? I've never really tried that, will give it a go today. :) I salute you! I lie my way through my workouts all the time. By any means necessary ... Ahhh, ferrett, you have stumbled upon the truth that all people who are good at exercising, yet who do not get the fabled endorphin rush, must learn.
Be a big, fat liar to yourself. It's not schizo, it's using one's inherent laziness to its fullest potential! ;-)
It works for dieting, too, I've noticed. Why OF COURSE I can have that brownie! I mean, a balanced life and all, right? There's no such thing as a diet, I'm simply trying to eat more healthy! But healthy isn't a brownie today, is it? Hmm... no, I should make a wiser choice.
Don't ask my why this works for me, it just does! lol I guess I don't like restrictions. >_ This is in no way to brag or to make your accomplishment sound trite, but the new In The Groove 2 machines (DDR knockoff made by a fanbase of DDR emulation fans that got bought by a gaming company, so it's actually, you know, good) counts calories burned for each gaming session of three or four songs, plus if you have a flash drive it keeps track for the day. In four hours most people playing on higher difficulties burn 2,000-5,000 calories.
If you're interested in it at all, DDR really is a good aerobic way to lose weight - I go about three times a week, blasting through an average of 3,000 calories a trip, and I've lost 35 pounds in two months. Whatever you managed to burn off today, was a ton more than what I managed, sitting infront of my computer all day playing poker online. Keep it up, you're stronger willed than I. ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/53496939/5184500) | | From: | ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1) adjust_56 |
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| Date: | October 3rd, 2005 08:26 pm (UTC) |
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| | By the time it was done I was blue in the face from both exhaustion and lying, but I had done it. | (Link) |
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rofl....I've been reading your blog since January when you could barely run 3 minutes.....now you are up to exercising 45.....maybe I should try your schizophrenic approach as I've stayed a couch potatoe watching you being envious of you.....I'll start tomorrow...with a 5 minute walk.....maybe It always works for me to lie to myself, too. I'm stubborn, though, and once I'm out there, I usually decide to run the whole time and not walk at all afterall. Good trick! I walk try to walk when I can to save on gas, my walking odometer's highest rate was 15k steps in a day! Hey I am looking forward to meeting Gini this weekend at Sue's wedding, is Amy coming as well? ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/64464230/349053) | | From: | bhagwan |
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| Date: | October 3rd, 2005 10:54 pm (UTC) |
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When it puts the incline into the calculation, it definitely pumps the calorie count up. In 45 minutes, yesterday, I went just barely over 500 calories. I was at a 5% or 6% incline and about 3.5 mph throughout the bulk of my journey. On the machine I use, however, I noticed that while it uses incline in the calculation, it doesn't seem to re-calculate the calorie rate unless you change the speed. | From: | (Anonymous) |
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| Date: | October 4th, 2005 12:09 am (UTC) |
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| | The Schizophrenic vs. the OCD Approach to Exercise | (Link) |
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Love the lying. Love it. Love it. LOVE IT! I thoroughly enjoy the schizophrenic split between thought and action here. I also like the multiple personality aspect of the "We'll just run for the first six-minute interval" and "We'll walk the rest of the time." I suppose this entry is endlessly fascinating to me since my brother and I have developed our own exercise regime with an OCD approach to keep us motivated. We're (obsessively) posting our entries here (http://www.ocdweightloss.blogspot.com/") if there's any interest in comparing. |
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