The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - Thoughts From A PBS Catalogue
October 17th, 2002
03:44 pm

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Thoughts From A PBS Catalogue

(100 shouts of denial | Tell me I'm full of it)

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From:eyelid
Date:June 5th, 2008 07:42 pm (UTC)
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dipshit, the very point that I had given someone that low a right to hate me was the issue that made me feel bad about things.

Wha? what "right"? That whole assumption is so whack. If my dad hated my husband for having once knocked me up at an inopportune moment, resulting in my having an abortion, I'd look at him like he had three heads. Instead, my parents adore my husband because he is a good and awesome person who loves me and is good to me (and everyone else). But then my parents are not child molesters, so yeah, their priorities are a little different from your girlfriend's father's.

An unplanned pregnancy is hardly a crime, nor is it worth hating anyone over. It's an unfortunate accident that happens to more than half the people in the US at some point.
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From:theferrett
Date:June 5th, 2008 08:00 pm (UTC)
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An unplanned pregnancy is hardly a crime, nor is it worth hating anyone over. It's an unfortunate accident that happens to more than half the people in the US at some point.

Actually, it's a rather stupid accident that could have been prevented. As noted, we were pulling out - because we didn't like condoms. And that stupidity, combined with the fact that he believed (as I do) that we were snuffing out a potential life created from nothing but our own dumbness and irresponsibility, well...

Maybe you don't get that. I suspect you see that fetus as nothing more than irritated tissue.
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From:eyelid
Date:June 5th, 2008 08:56 pm (UTC)
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Actually, it's a rather stupid accident that could have been prevented.
All accidents could have been prevented. It's hardly a horrible moral failing to have an accident. Again, unplanned pregnancy is a very stupid thing to hate someone over.


combined with the fact that he believed (as I do) that we were snuffing out a potential life
And yet, like you, there he was, seeing the abortion through. I wonder what he did to his daughter afterwards. I wonder if you ever thought of that.


Maybe you don't get that.
It is true that I have a lot of difficulty following the delicate moral sensibilities of people who rape their own children. I guess you found in him a kindred spirit with completely understandable emotions, but I just can't.


I suspect you see that fetus as nothing more than irritated tissue.
In fact what I see is the woman. That's what I care about.

Remember, there was a woman involved here? You've written her out of the story as much as possible, but I'm pretty sure she was there. Who was she? What did she want? How did she feel? What was she thinking? What were her hopes, dreams? What did you and her father do to her, say to her? These are the things I wonder.

The answer is, who knows? All we get above is how TheFerrett feels, what he wanted and felt. Oh, and the child molesting father. His feelings are considered and honored as totally reasonable. We clearly know who the important people are in this story - you, the child molesting father, and the fetus, who is scrupulously remembered (and assumed to be a son, surprise).

But when I read your story, what I see is a woman, probably a girl, sitting forlorn, sandwiched in a clinic between the father who raped her and the boyfriend who told her he couldn't afford a child but maintains that abortion is murder. She's the one my heart goes out to. She's the one I want to help.
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From:theferrett
Date:June 5th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC)
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I'm sorry. In the future, I'll be sure to write up all my adventures according the feelings of other people.

I'm sure if I had done that, you'd go, "Yes, Ferrett! I take your word as gospel that this is how your girlfriend felt. I certainly won't be accusing you of eliding, forgetting, or changing any details to suit yourself!"

And of course, in that wonderful world, we wouldn't be having this discussion right now. Because I'm sure given the subject, even if she had agreed 100% with me on this, you would have assumed that I had ascertained her state accurately, and wouldn't have raised any questions about that. You wouldn't have insinuated that I'd been able to report on her own emotions every bit as accurately as mine.

Good to know. Because you weren't even there, and somehow you know what happened better than I do. Clearly, you're the sort of person who can routinely discuss the internal emotions of everyone around you, because you can sense them, two decades ago, from a distance.
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From:eyelid
Date:June 5th, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC)
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I'm sorry. In the future, I'll be sure to write up all my adventures according the feelings of other people.
Wow, you're right - how could I ever have expected you to find the emotions of your girlfriend, going through an abortion, to be relevant to this story? Or that you would possibly know what her feelings were?


you would have assumed that I had ascertained her state accurately, and wouldn't have raised any questions about that.
I assumed you reported her molester father's state accurately. Which, BTW, you didn't seem to have any qualms about reporting. I guess his feelings were understandable/important, while hers weren't?


I'm sure if I had done that, you'd go, "
It's sort of irrelevant, isn't it? I mean, you'd never have spoken about her feelings. It never would have occurred to you. It never did occur to you.

You can say what you want, but you know that is true. You thought it was important to report her father's feelings, so you did. You didn't think it was important to report hers. She's a cipher. She's the unimportant vessel carrying the important fetus.


You wouldn't have insinuated that I'd been able to report on her own emotions every bit as accurately as mine.
And why is that so outlandish? I can report on my husband's emotions re: my abortion as accurately as my own - and did, when I shared my own abortion story. That's because I actually cared about them. And about him.


Because you weren't even there, and somehow you know what happened better than I do.
*amused* first you imply that you can't say how your girlfriend felt (just how her dad felt, I guess). Then you imply that you know how she felt and I don't. Which is it, I wonder?
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From:rustedxemotions
Date:May 23rd, 2014 04:04 pm (UTC)
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... How can you possibly answer how another feels? Get a life.
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