The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - The Correlary, Which I Cannot Spell Without A Spell-Checker
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The Correlary, Which I Cannot Spell Without A Spell-Checker|
|Date:||April 25th, 2008 09:53 pm (UTC)|| |
You might be surprised if you ask Gini and Erin, at what they think&feel. Personally, I feel quite confident in my ability to defend myself against most any attack, but at the same time, my first reaction in a lot of the situations described by odanu is still concern for my safety. Further, even once I remind myself that I can protect myself, I still have to constantly be on alert for potential danger, because if I miss the danger coming, my ability to protect myself drops hard.
When I've discussed this, the feeling being unsafe, with guys I've been involved with, to explain why, say, I'd rather not take the bus to his place at 11pm, they've been shocked, because they doesn't see it in me, because I do it so automatically. It is my initial, nigh on instinctive, response, my baseline reaction to any situation. And, the same is true for all my female friends (ok, well, the 95% or so I've discussed it with) and for all the female students in the sociology classes I TA for, where it's brought up in the context of social inequality.
It's easy to not see, especially when you haven't done these things yourself, the things women have internalized to try to deal with threats. You might be surprised at how often the women you care about feel unsafe, or feel only the measure of safety they believe they can provide themselves, which isn't really feeling safe, but rather feeling able to defend oneself.