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Sadly, it does not involve dinosaurs fighting angels. But we're workin' on t.

One of the best things about working at the Borders Books and Music headquarters was The Free Book Room.

See, as the world's second-largest book retailer, we were swamped in books of all sorts. Sample books from publishers trying to get in the door, example books that current publishers wanted us to buy, and cartons filled with the good books that everybody wanted.

The leftovers went into a large janitorial closet that looked like a mini-library, where we could pick them over to our hearts' content. Every four weeks, the Free Book Room was cleansed, the remnants given to charity, and it immediately filled up again. And there were good books there, too, almost all the B- and C-listers; the buyer might not have wanted that new Joe Lansdale or Spider Robinson book, but I sure did.

The strangest book I ever found, however, was a graphic novel:

A Creationist's View of
DINOSAURS
and the
Theory Of Evolution

It had a big dinosaur skull on the cover, and was drawn and written quite competently. The graphic novel featured the author — a balding, white-haired, mustachioed guy in a turtleneck, if the pictures were to be believed — showing all the evidence of dinosaurs, with scanned-in photos next to huge blurbs like "CARBON DATING IS A HIGHLY FLAWED AND IMPERFECT SCIENCE!"

The thing is, he wasn't anti-dinosaur. He spent a lot of time confirming the existence of dinosaurs, then moved to quotes like "Behold the behemoth which I made with thee…. (Job 40:15) and "He moveth his tail like a cedar…." (Job 40:17). This, in turn, was proof that dinosaurs existed — and furthermore, they breathed smoke and fire, just like God said they did.

Weird. But not over-the-top. He seemed normal until I got to this panel:

Yes, that's correct; he has the theory that dinosaurs, enraged by fallen angels, attacked Noah's Ark as the flood began in a no-holds battle to the finish.

And yet that was not enough. He illustrated it for a possible movie, claiming it would be far more exciting than Jurassic Park.

And just because I felt like adding one more scan to show you the gist of this:

Alas, I looked up this book on the Internet and it appears that it is no more, or else I'd provide a link to purchase this wonderment. As it is, all you can do is watch the scans and amaze at the movie this could have been.

Incidentally, it would have been better than Jurassic Park. I woulda paid money for it.

(EDIT: If you'd like to purchase the book, more information on it - and the book's creator - can be found here.)

(Tell me I'm full of it)