The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - The Compleat Guide To LiveJournal Stardom And Fame, Part I.5

[Recent Entries][Archive][Friends][User Info]

March 18th, 2004
10:52 am

[Link]

Previous Entry Add to Memories Share Next Entry
The Compleat Guide To LiveJournal Stardom And Fame, Part I.5
Since she reminded me of another rule that I had forgotten, I'll add Rule #10 of LiveJournal Whoring and name it after her:

Step #10: The sunyata__ Rule.
If you're a hot chick, post pictures. I myself, being a portly balding guy who wasn't very attractive in the first place, forgot about that - but if you're cute, flaunt it. Post pictures of yourself, posing moodily and staring at the camera. If you don't mind showing some skin, show some. Create icons all of you, looking with those gorgeous bedroom eyes into the camera.

This is not for prurient interest, of course. It's because it's easier to connect with you when people know what you look like. If they know who you are, and you post pictures of yourself once every two months that would cause instant, pants-ripping erections in the Pope, they'll hang around forever so they can, um, connect with you better.

And if you happen to take pictures of all your hot friends, hanging around parties in various states of undress (hallooooo, manifestress!), it will allow your readers to further connect with your writings, sometimes in a method that requires a thorough screen-Windexing afterwards.

When you do this, it is vitally important to email The Ferrett and let him know. The Ferrett is very concerned with good writing, and deep petroleum-based connections with his readers. He will sometimes stare for hours at these pictures, establishing deep and meaningful bonds until his wrists ache.

This may or may not work for guys, but I suspect it does. Hi, I'm Michael Nolan, and I'm hot.

(Incidenally, Sunyata does not do all of these things. She simply reminded me of the fact that it can be done. The fact that she's an utter, facesmashery of a babe is incidental.)

(88 shouts of denial | Tell me I'm full of it)

Comments
 
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
[User Picture]
From:blergeatkitty
Date:March 18th, 2004 03:58 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Hmm. Maybe I should have made that topless pic public.
[User Picture]
From:gentlemaitresse
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:07 pm (UTC)
(Link)
From:techempage
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:17 pm (UTC)
(Link)
You are not authorized to view this protected entry.

Tease! :-)
[User Picture]
From:scarletdemon
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:13 pm (UTC)

This may or may not work for guys, but I suspect it does.

(Link)
Hahahaha! Of course it does! Duh! My list is like the LJ guide to Hot Young Guys (who can also write). And yes, you're on it.
[User Picture]
From:pjammer
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:16 pm (UTC)

Re: This may or may not work for guys, but I suspect it does.

(Link)
Damn! How did I fail to make the cut? :P
[User Picture]
From:olliesmama
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:13 pm (UTC)
(Link)
So...honest opinion time here....do you think I should post pics of me? Or just keep up with the Kelsey and Ollie pics?
[User Picture]
From:theferrett
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:14 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Oh fuck yes you should. Those are goddamn great pictures.

The only problem I have is the picture quality. A little fuzzy. Didn't you get my email?
[User Picture]
From:servermonkey
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:15 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Damn it! I'm not hot, and I can't write myself out of a bag to say my life.

Keep posting your steps, as I'm in dire need!
[User Picture]
From:zarhooie
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:28 pm (UTC)
(Link)
the other thing to do is be active in the LJ communities.... Comment alot, post things of interest.... etc.
From:sclerotic_rings
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:15 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Ouch. By that logic, I'm doomed: nobody wants to see any pictures of me. ("On tonight's episode of Angel, the part of 'Spike' will be played by Drew Carey...") Which is just the way I like it.
[User Picture]
From:dubheach
Date:March 18th, 2004 06:31 pm (UTC)

Drew

(Link)
I happen to think Drew's hot. That smile, those eyes, and oh does he make me laugh.
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:tevriel
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:31 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I have not snorgled in laughter for a long, long time.

I thank you for this, Mr Ferrett, and were I but hot would e-mail you naked pictures of myself at this very instance.
[User Picture]
From:tevriel
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:31 pm (UTC)
(Link)
instant. sheesh.
[User Picture]
From:shadesong
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:35 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Hey! I post pictures of half-naked friends at my parties too! :P Truly, not as much as Karla does...

And yes. michaelnolan is, how you say, teh hottness.
[User Picture]
From:museumfreak
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:37 pm (UTC)
(Link)
if you think manifestress's friends are hot in photos . . .

seriously, it's actually just a whole different standard of comfort with the human body and its variations and individual preferences. i was at RetroHaven (tm) this weekend for the first time and it was awesome.
[User Picture]
From:gentlemaitresse
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:42 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I just wanted to add...

When someone posts LOTS of pics of themselves, and very little else, that gets old really quick.

And I *would* post pics of hot friends, hanging around parties in various states of undress, but the kinds of parties I go to don't allow photos. :-P
(Deleted comment)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:March 18th, 2004 07:34 pm (UTC)

Word

(Link)
I would, had I my own LJ.
But that pic of you "red n pink" where you show your teeth in the smile, incredibly cute.
show your smile more often!
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Expand
Re: An lj - (Anonymous) - Expand
[User Picture]
From:bernmarx
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:47 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Ironically, the post on my FL immediately before this one of yours is one from michaelnolan including several pics of himself. And he is, indeed, hot. He is also, sadly, madly in love with someone else (that's sad for me, wonderful for him), and lives elsewhere, and is putatively monogamous. Other than that, he's perfect. :) Plus he glares at me when I flirt with him.

And just for this post, I'll use my pic-of-me icon.
[User Picture]
From:manifestress
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:51 pm (UTC)
(Link)
And you just read Playboy for the articles, right!

I don't even think you are on any of my filters... You should inquire.

I hope my LJ is a fair balance of photos and solid writing - I'm just a natural exhibitionist, what can I say. If you want just pictures, try my in-house photojouralist and real-life 'Gnome, photognome - he always delivers!
[User Picture]
From:theferrett
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:04 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Hey, sign me up. Any sort of hot photos, I'm all about.
[User Picture]
From:manifestress
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:56 pm (UTC)

Along these lines

(Link)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/mspensive/433.html

Link to a similar topical post - from my "public" alter LJ for just these types of articles.
[User Picture]
From:manifestress
Date:March 18th, 2004 04:57 pm (UTC)

Psssst

(Link)
I must say that sunyata__ is more scrumptious in person than one could ever imagine...
[User Picture]
From:theferrett
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:04 pm (UTC)

Re: Psssst

(Link)
*soft voice*

Ah hates you, rabbit.
From:satia
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:02 pm (UTC)

LOL!

(Link)
This made me laugh on so many levels . . . and I needed to laugh today.

Thanks and *hugs*
[User Picture]
From:theferrett
Date:March 19th, 2004 01:25 am (UTC)

Re: LOL!

(Link)
Glad to be of service.
[User Picture]
From:cubes
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:07 pm (UTC)
(Link)
OK, here you go. I do add to and refer to these occasionally in my LJ, so you'll just have to look there if you want updates. There is not much skin or wild partying, but there are explosives.

http://www.muttlaugh.com/gallery/fireworks/10inch_inserts

http://www.muttlaugh.com/gallery/stuff/DSC_1097

http://www.muttlaugh.com/gallery/stuff/DSC_4388

Oh, and http://www.muttlaugh.com/gallery/weakmasq2003/P1010013
[User Picture]
From:theferrett
Date:March 19th, 2004 01:26 am (UTC)
(Link)
That last photo's the really hawt one. *g*
[User Picture]
From:monkeycid
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:15 pm (UTC)
(Link)
The "Compleat" guide? fo shame, editor! atleast make sure that the header is spelled correctly :) .

Other than that, thanks for the laughs, and the truths :)
From:anyoneatall
Date:March 18th, 2004 09:01 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Compleat doesn't mean "complete" as in finished, no more needed: it means "an outstanding example of its kind." Do a google search on "compleat" and you get works cited such as "The Compleat Strategist", "The Compleat World Copyright Website" "The Complete Sean Bean." (yeh, really!)

:-)
[User Picture]
From:tfcocs
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:29 pm (UTC)
(Link)
The timing of this is so funny. I just did my first major spread last night. Note the icon---and yes, it is me.
[User Picture]
From:zarhooie
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:36 pm (UTC)

Blame <lj user="shadesong"> and <lj user="karlita">...

(Link)
It's all their fault that you're on my friends list. I don't really post pictures for fear of blinding people, and my writing leaves mucheverything to be desired, but there you go. I update far too much, and for some reason, the common couresty of announcing one's arrival to another's LJ has manifested itself in me. So here I am, announcing myself and making myself to look like a fool, but it's not like that matters much anyway. Exit, stage left! *runs off*
[User Picture]
From:lysana
Date:March 18th, 2004 05:54 pm (UTC)
(Link)
I can testify to this. I can't prove it scientifically, but I know that my photo icons generate traffic to my LJ. The fact I'm a half-decent writer keeps some of them around.
[User Picture]
From:koibito007
Date:March 18th, 2004 06:03 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Done!
[User Picture]
From:spookykat
Date:March 18th, 2004 06:10 pm (UTC)

Admittedly, I am a hypocrit

(Link)
Oddly, if someone has self-pics and little else, I, usually don't friend them.

I immediately think "man, this person is pretty damn self-centered and not v. interesting if all they've got to show is some skin." I recognize it as prejudice because I myself am not exactly svelt.

But still, it's my first instinct when someone does that.

At least if you're going to post a piccy of yourself, make it an artsy and/or interesting one.

~SK
[User Picture]
From:theferrett
Date:March 19th, 2004 01:26 am (UTC)

Re: Admittedly, I am a hypocrit

(Link)
I don't friend just 'cause of the pics. But it's a two-point curve.
[User Picture]
From:cmpriest
Date:March 18th, 2004 06:16 pm (UTC)
(Link)
If you don't mind showing some skin, show some.

done.
;-)
The Ferrett's Domain Powered by LiveJournal.com