Look back to my last entry: that's the one where my family got Star Wars tattoos.

That oughtta tell you how seriously we take Star Wars around here.

So I'm going to have three levels of spoilers: A thumbs-up yes or no on whether I personally liked it, more general thoughts for those who'd like a spoiler-free review that discusses some elements in the movie I liked and/or disliked, and then SHIT GETS REAL.

The comments are where I expect y'all to go berserk with your feedback, so if you want no spoilers, stay out of the comments.  But if you wanna discuss how things coulda gone down better or worse, to tweak plot threads, to pull nitpicks, pull up a seat.

So!


I've seen it twice, now.  First time was 70% thumbs-up.  After a second viewing, I'm up to 80% positive.

If you are a fan of the Holy Trilogy, I would seriously advise you to get in there.  There's a lot to like.  It's floating around ROTJ level for me, but that's not a fair measurement; The Force Awakens is more consistent, with a storyline that doesn't share ROTJ's often-tedious weaknesses, but ROTJ's strengths in the climax still smash TFA out of the water.

That said, this ranking may rise or fade over time; I remember once liking The Phantom Menace, so let's give this a few months.


And....


Here's the most amazing part of The Force Awakens:

If you'd told me, "The biggest problem with the new Star Wars movie is that it spends too much time on the old characters," I would have been baffled.

But it's true!  Finn, Rey, and Poe Dameron are all so likeable and fun that the major problems I have with the movie are the places where I actually wanted more time with them.  I mean, it's great to see the old gang back in action, but honestly?  I fucking love these new guys, with all my heart.  They are utterly worthy hallmarks of the canon.

And you know how they do it? Character-based humor and emotion.   You know, all the things that Lucas forgot in the prequels.  Finn and Rey and Poe are great because they consciously choose to become heroes - making hard choices to protect the things they love - and then they pull off a one-liner that makes you love them.

I've often said my novel FLEX is not a great novel, but it's the kind of novel you can have a beer with.  And likeability is a major quality - there are too many great films that you appreciate and don't love.  I can't say whether TFA is great yet, but I can definitely say it's likeable as fuck.

Yet there's a pulled focus in the third act, where we're trying very hard to give people The Old Star Wars experience, and it mostly works.... but it's the weakest part of of what's otherwise an overall strong film.

But they've got a magnificent villain, and they've got great heroes.  It's a strong start.

Would see again. Will see again.


And now....


Okay, so the Big Thing isn't the thing that concerns me.  I'll get to the Big Thing, but come on, the minute he stepped out into that catwalk, we all knew what was gonna happen.

What concerns me is Another Fucking Death Star.

The Death Star is a mistake, because we have two battles going on simultaneously, and one is utterly not rooted in character and the other is.  It's notable that Poe at this point hasn't even met Rey, so he's flying around up there for Abstract Heroic Reasons.  His triumph is not dependent upon anything that happens on the ground - and as a result, that whole Big Space Battle is the least compelling part.  We know Poe's going to save the day - the question is, what's at stake for him?

Well, saving millions of people.

We don't give a shit about millions of people, though.  We care about specific people.

Look at the first film, and the way they handle the Death Star is magnificent.  When they blow up a planet we've never seen before, they do something very smart: they place the person who cares most about it in the room.  We care about Alderaan not because Oh The Humanity, but because Leia is now begging them not to destroy her home world, and we see her betrayal, her strength, her heartbreak.

Blowing up a planet in absentia is a tragedy, but it's a distant tragedy like Somalia; oh, that's sad, isn't it?

Leia watching it is like watching your neighbor's kid get stabbed.

And when the Death Star comes around in Act III, the princess - you know, the person who our heroes have moved heaven and earth to save - is in danger again.  If she gets blown up, everything we've worked for is undone.

Whereas in this film, the Death Star is blowing up ancillary characters - yeah, I like Leia, but she's got nothing to do in this film anyway.  It's like making the entire third act of Return of the Jedi about endangering Mon Mothma.  And so it's pretty notable that absolutely nobody in the theater cheered when Poe "won," because yeah he saved millions of abstract people but we just lost the one guy who really mattered to us.

(And yeah, the same thing happened in ANH - but that was the end of the second act, and we had a breather, and Obi-Wan's sacrifice was critical to victory, so it all tied together.  This death is straight in the middle of the third act, and frankly everyone could die on the ground after Chewie set the charges and they'd still win, rendering this victory needless in terms of anyhing Finn and Rey accomplish.)

(And as Gini noted, when the sample planets got destroyed, note how no one on the ground ever blinks an eye.  Nobody mourns the demise of Coruscant, for Christ's sake, the seat of government, and so the emotional impact is, once again, Somalia, not your neighbor's kid.)

What I'm saying is, this whole third act could have - and arguably should have - taken place on a starship, not Another Fucking Death Star.  And I feel that Poe's struggle should have been emotionally connected to Finn's struggle, or at least to the Rebellion's struggle, in some way that wasn't abstract.

Here's my plot fix to render the Death Star more relevant:

Me?  I'd have Kylo Ren get the map - whether that's by stealing it from Rey's head, or BB-8, or... something.  I'd have it so they both have Rey and know where Luke is.

And Kylo Ren goes to General Gollum and says, "We know where Luke Skywalker is.  At last, I will go to my old master and destroy him personally, and have revenge!"

And General Gollum goes, "Nah, we're just gonna blow his planet up.  The Jedi Temple will be destroyed."

Now the storylines are more entwined.  Poe's original mission? Get Luke Skywalker.  He's invested in destroying this damn Death Star, and his friend Finn is below, and we have to not only stop the Death Star but steal the plans back so we know where Skywalker is.  (Sure, this assumes nobody on the Death Star makes backup copies, but technology in SW is always weirdly plot-dependent.)  Poe is emotionally invested in getting the plans for the thing that was of concern to him at the beginning of the film, and getting his friend back to safety as well, and so he's gonna be concerned and we're gonna get a big happy reunion when Finn returns.  

Speaking of: I dislike the way that Finn is unconscious at the end of it.  I know, I know, people like Dark, and the folks who are saying this is second to Empire are the same doofs who are all like "AH LIKES MAH UNHAPPY ENDINGS," and sure, you're welcome to that.  But for me, the bond between Finn and Rey was so powerful that I wanted to see one last interaction with them that wasn't just unconsciousness.  I wanted to have some closing to this thing that indicated their friendship was strong that was active, not some Snow White Special.

So.

...that whole Han thing?

Sure.

I wasn't particularly traumatized by Han's death, because as I said, CATWALK == DEATH.  There was no chance that he'd walk out there and Kylo Ren would go, "Oh, sure, I'll come back home."  And so my reaction was closer to "Oh, Harrison Ford finally got what he wanted," as Harrison's wanted Han dead for years, and...

It was a good sacrifice.

Han fought for the wrong reasons, and that final caress was perfect.

(Though frankly, since it looks like Luke is gonna play Dumbledore here, that means he's gotta die, and I wonder if THE FORCE AWAKENS trilogy is going to be "We kill off someone you love at the end of every picture!"  Climaxing with the destruction of Artoo, presumably.)

That said, I'm gonna pay a compliment and then backtrack: Kylo Ren is a villain absolutely on the level with Vader.  He's fascinating, he's scary, and he's different - his temper tantrums are exactly what you'd expect of an untrained child.  You can see him steeling himself up to kill - the scenes where he's beating his wound, trying to summon the anger, trying to convince himself that yes, I am a Very Bad Man, are brilliant.

(Also, he stops a blaster bolt in mid-air.  That's a terrifying display of power.)

But what we have are reasons, not motivations, and I wish we'd had a motivation.

"Reasons" are facts: I hate my father.  Therefore, I'm mad at him.

Motivations tell us why he's mad, and they're more specific: My stupid father sent me off to the Jedi academy when I was six, at Padawan age, before I could remember what he was like, and so I loathe him until the end of my days.

Now, if you're deeply sympathetic, you fill in blanks, and so reasons and motivations get slurred.  If I tell you, "My neighbor's kid got stabbed, so she shot the motherfucker," most people will fill in the motivation of "She killed her son's killer for revenge, she must have loved her son deeply."

But the actual motivaton behind the reasons could be, "She held her useless son up as a shield when her boyfriend started to get abuseively, he stabbed the kid instead of her, and that's when she flung her son to one side and realized she had to kill this motherfucker before she got hurt."

What we have with Kylo Ren are a bunch of "I hate my father!" but I wish we'd had one scene where they interacted somehow so we knew why.  Lots of people have opinions.  It probably is because he got sent away to the Jedi Academy to be corrupted by General Gollum - but again, that's not stated.  And I think stating it would have been stronger, as he has so many great scenes, but I could have used that one.  What the hell triggered this guy?

(Also, when he unmasked?  I went, "Jesus, where did that schnozz come from?  He looks nothing like either of them!" But hey, he's a good actor, so let's go with it.)  

But hey!  Maybe they're going to get into that!  Which is something I do really dislike about this series - it's a clear cliffhanger, and it makes it hard to review because maybe that's a teaser!  Maaaybe we'll find allll about Kylo Ren in the second movie, and we'll discover why people seem to remember Finn instantly in the second movie, and maybe...

Maybe it'll be like LOST, where that plot thread people were sure was going to be resolved got forgotten!

Who can say?

That said, I absolutely adore both Finn and Rey - and if Rey's last name isn't "Skywalker," I'll eat my hat.  (And it's a good hat.)  And Luke was my boy in the first trilogy, but you know what?

Finn is my man in this movie.

I love Finn because he's not a badass.  Rey is a natural hero - Oh, here, little droid, I'll protect you - but I love the way Finn's characterization starts because he's not sure of himself.  He discovers that he needs to do the right thing, but this new Star Wars is fascinating because Finn is a hero and Finn himself doesn't know it.  He hasn't internalized that sense of himself yet.  All he knows is that this person he has come to love - whether that's Finn or Poe - is in danger, and he has to protect them, and fuck you, this man will move heaven and earth until he saves them.

Fuck, I'm crying right now.  Two viewings, and that is how much I interact with Finn.

And Finn?  He's me.  Because unlike Rey, who's all like, "Sure, I'll do the hero thing," Finn is fucking terrified.  "Are you ready for this?" "Hell no."

But look at him.  He's scared, but he is going to do this, because someone has to and it's him.

I love him so hard for that.  He is my struggle.  And I'm already hoping the movies don't fuck up and turn him into Plucky Sidekick and instead show us the same character development that Sokka got in the Last Airbender, where yeah, you don't get the super-special Jedi Force powers, but you do get to be relevant and impactful.

And I suspect that, like Luke, a lot of people will disdain Finn because really, he's not yet competent.  He doesn't win any battles, honestly - he's a support fighter.  And some folks will go, "Oh, what a wuss, what a whiner," and trash-talk him, and to that I say fuck them proactively, because I am staking out territory in Finn-land and I will not relinquish it until later movies fuck up this character that I have deeply bonded with.

And God, let's talk Poe.  I'm so sad Poe is underutilized, because I love his casual competence - I love the way he explains the ship to Finn, like a pilot, but assured.  He's not quite cocky, but he is assured, and when they hugged at their reunion I teared up.  But right now, Poe is an ascended Wedge, and I hope the next movie gives him some character development to work with.

BB-8?

I will hear nothing bad said about BB-8. NOTHING.  He's an Artoo upgrade, but he's adorable and that's great.

Leia?  As I mentioned earlier, I wish Leia had gotten to do something aside from sit around and look wistful.  Yeah, it's great that she's a General, but I wanted to see her Generaling - leading the assault against the Stormtroopers as opposed to showing up afterwards.  I wanted her to save Han.  I wanted her to, you know, do anything, and she didn't.

But damn, doesn't Mark Hamill look fucking awesome these days?

Captain Phasma, sadly, is a sign that Star Wars will never escape its toyetic roots.  She's basically eye candy, doing absolutely nothing, and yet when I went out to the lobby they had 3D Captain Phasma glasses for sale and Gini and Amy went, "Oh, yeah, Captain Phasma," and at the end of it Captain Phasma was an absolute victim of hype.  I mean, I'm glad that actress is getting work, and I'm glad they made a female enemy, but the enemy was a background character who didn't even need a name, as we had four villains and that's really one too many.

I'm lurching all over here, but let's discuss that final battle.  I love that Kylo was seriously injured - you did note how carefully they laid that gun on the mantle, by showing how potent Chewie's bowcaster was? - which made two untrained mooks taking on a Sith master believable.  I love how Finn tried, and even held his own for a moment - he got one good hit in, which is more than I thought he would - before getting wrecked.

And Rey, well, I don't have much to say about Rey because she's fucking perfect for me, the one note this film hit pure and high and never wavered on.  But that battle...

I loved how sloppy the fights were.  Kylo was injured, and thrashes like an angry kid anyway.  This wasn't some acrobatic display like in the prequels; this was a story, where both of them were evoking character through violence, and Kylo was swinging wildly, bullying, threatening, and Rey was refusing to cave to that.

And you know what I love most of all?

She fought for the Light Side, motherfuckers.

That scene.  When she's pressed to her limits, and she looks within herself for serenity... you can feel it.  You can feel the power of her being at peace with herself.  She's not fighting because she's upset, she's fighting for a cause, and she wrecks that motherfucker with the potency of grace and beauty and...

Two times I've cried writing this.  So fuck it, that's your review, you know?

Anyway. The comments are open. Go nuts with observations on shit you loved or hated, little moments you feel I forgot, complaints to my complaints.  Overall, I liked it.  I think I'll like it more.