The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - February 1st, 2008
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11:15 pm
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A Fine Idea
My wife posted a conversation of ours where she told me to fuck off and I was happy about being told to go to hell. And then, just a bit later, she explained why she was so happy she could tell me to go hang myself.
Thing is, I wanted to blog about that, too. Because you know when I knew it was real love with Gini? Not just kinda-love?
We had made a bet. I don't remember what the bet was about - something movie-related, no doubt - and I put down twenty dollars that I was correct. I lost, and reached for my wallet.
Gini didn't flinch.
All my life, I'd dated women who would have felt bad about winning the bet, and invariably I would have gotten the twenty and they would have said, "No, that's all right, you don't need to pay." But my eventual wife-to-be? She held out her hand, and she took the money as it was her due, because if I was stupid enough to put up the cash then she was going to take it. And she not only took the twenty, but she spent it on herself. No shared theaters, no splitting dinners with the won twenty - she spent it selfishly and frivolously.
Which is as it should be. I like a woman who's strong enough to take what the hell she's earned, without apology. And I love a woman who will tell me what the hell she wants to do, even if that means that sometimes, I'm walking alone to the repair shop in the sleet and rain.
I'll smile as I go. Because I like the fact that I have a wife who values herself. I'm important, and I know that, but not so important that she's gonna walk half a mile in the cold and be miserable for no good reason. And because she thinks enough of herself to tell me, "No, that's all you," I treasure the moments when she does love me and care for me - which is most of the time.
The occasional rebuff tells me that when she does follow, it's because she wants to be there, not because I'm holding her hostage with guilt. And in that way, I know I have a partner. Striding along. Being my friend.
Except when it's time to pick up the damn car.
Current Mood:  loved
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