The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - No, They Can’t Take That Away From Me
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No, They Can’t Take That Away From Me|
|Date:||June 21st, 2012 08:48 pm (UTC)|| |
For me, it's because if I can't get out there and meet _anyone_ due to my social phobia, I will absolutely never meet the people who will get to know me and like me despite my flaws.
It's a first-step kind of thing.
I guess it's a question of priorities? Or just emotional comfort level? I've met lots of introverts and social phobics who still have a deep need for friendship and social outlets, including my husband. I'm just not one of them. I'm much more uncomfortable being inauthentic than I am being alone.
|Date:||June 21st, 2012 09:07 pm (UTC)|| |
I think it's definitely a level of needs - I've referred to myself as an "extroverted introvert" - I like being around people, but I'm way, way, way more comfortable being around "my" people - a group of close friends will wear me out much slower than a group of mostly-strangers. But I definitely need to get out and be social on a regular basis, I'm just limited in which social situations I can handle.
It seems to me that you're conflating performance and inauthenticity. And while these may be the same in your case, it's not true for everyone. Performing--pretending to be other than what you (primarily) feel--can instead be a matter of consciously choosing to focus on a different facet of yourself.
That's not to say that there isn't a line beyond which performance becomes inauthentic. Just that it seems to me that other people's lines are farther away than yours are. And if some people can use that margin to help them with what they perceive as a problem (their anxieties keeping them from something they want), then more power to them. If for you it isn't a problem, then it doesn't really matter whether you're being inauthentic or not; that's not something you want, and that's fine, too.
|Date:||June 22nd, 2012 03:14 am (UTC)|| |
This is pretty much exactly what I was going to reply with.
In this, you absolutely speak for me.