No Time For Love, Dr. Jones… Well, Maybe In Text Form
Finishing up a huge project for today, but over at FetLife (TheFacebookforKinksters), I wrote a humor essay on a neglected topic: How To Be A Super-Duper Ninja Sex Texter.
The obligatory sample:
So! You want to make people masturbate to thoughts of you, using only your phone. And yet whenever you text, “I STICK IT IN. I STICK IT IN!!!!!” you get nothing but awkward silences.
Possibly because this is because you accidentally sexted your mother. Or possibly it is because you do not know the secrets of effective sexting. And you know who knows all the secrets of effective sexting? Not me. Shit, that’s a deep well, dude. There’s like ten million ways to get someone off with your mind and an unlimited data plan.
…but I know a few.
The essay’s over here, and actually contains some pretty salient tips on writing customized erotica. So go check it out, if you’re interested. Ask questions. Kick the tires, you know how it is.
Cross-posted from Ferrett's Real Blog.
This entry has also been posted at http://theferrett.dreamwidth.org/219104.html. You can comment here, or comment there; makes no never-mind by me.
Tags: humor, sex, sorry your essay is at another castle, writing
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