I’m Depressed. Here’s What You Should Do To Comfort Me.|
It’s the peak of my Seasonal Affective Disorder, which meant that I spent Saturday night crying hysterically in Gini’s arms, listing all the reasons I didn’t deserve to live, using all my willpower not to go for the knives and cut myself as deep as I could.
It’s not a fun time.
Earlier this week, I posted an entry on FetLife about how hard it was for me to reach out during this period. I got fourteen comments, seven emails, and infinite text messages telling me how much people liked me. That was nice.
All I kept thinking about was the poor bastards who don’t write well, though.
I’m a depressive who chronicles his journey, in part to let other depressives know that they’re not alone. That some days, the black fog settles in and it’s all you can do to stay alive. And as a result, I’ve garnered a relatively large audience who will converge to tell me how wonderful I am whenever I forget.
Then there are those who are genuinely forgotten.
There are people far worse off than I am who post about this sucking void that’s devouring all their happiness, and get no comments at all. They’re struggling, drowning alone in an ocean of sorrow… and on those rare occasions they dare to post, they hear nothing but emptiness. Their bravery in continuing shames mine.
So yes. I’m down right now, and hating myself. If you want to make me feel better, then find someone you haven’t contacted in a while and tell them you love them. Not your girlfriend/boyfriend, not that person you had coffee with yesterday, but that distant friend who you’ve been meaning to call but life has gotten in the way.
They may be lonely. They may need the love a lot more than I do. Reaching out now may be giving them a hand that will get them through a terrible time.
Text, call, email, whatever. But get in touch. Let them know you’re thinking of them, because this depression is bad enough. Loneliness makes it even worse. Surprise someone with a kind thought, because you never know how much they might need it right now.
Cross-posted from Ferrett's Real Blog.
This entry has also been posted at http://theferrett.dreamwidth.org/217498.html. You can comment here, or comment there; makes no never-mind by me.