No, Really, Not Wanting To Lose What You Have Is Wonderful.

The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - No, Really, Not Wanting To Lose What You Have Is Wonderful.

[Recent Entries][Archive][Friends][User Info]

May 5th, 2012

09:29 am

[Link]

No, Really, Not Wanting To Lose What You Have Is Wonderful.

(88 shouts of denial | Tell me I'm full of it)

Comments

From:	bart_calendar
Date:	May 5th, 2012 03:42 pm (UTC)

(Link)

What I hate is when The Cult Of The Poly People start in with "poly is easier!"

No, no it's not as I can say from recent experience.

(That said for me it's worth it, but it's not fucking "easier."

Edited at 2012-05-05 03:43 pm (UTC)

(Reply) (Thread)

From:	spideyj
Date:	May 5th, 2012 08:19 pm (UTC)

(Link)

So. Much. This.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:	jfargo
Date:	May 6th, 2012 01:09 am (UTC)

(Link)

I agree wholeheartedly.

)

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:	mariadkins
Date:	May 6th, 2012 01:27 am (UTC)

(Link)

easier my hind foot.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:	alexmegami
Date:	May 6th, 2012 02:03 am (UTC)

(Link)

Any situation where you start adding more people is more complicated, by virtue of there being more people. This is as true for making dinner arrangements as it is for relationship arrangements. That's just a thing of more people than it is of relationships.

And I agree: for me it's absolutely worth it, but that doesn't make it easier. Maybe less... fraught? something?

I guess if you were fighting to pretend to be monogamous and came to poly and it was a relief, it might feel easier, but I think that ease is more "I'm not fighting to pretend to be something else" rather than "this relationship structure is inherently easier".

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:	stacymckenna
Date:	May 6th, 2012 02:03 am (UTC)

(Link)

whuuuuuh?!?! I am baffled by the concept of poly being "easier" in any way...

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:	theferrett
Date:	May 6th, 2012 02:16 pm (UTC)

(Link)

Who the fuck says that? For fuck's sake.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:	bart_calendar
Date:	May 6th, 2012 02:24 pm (UTC)

(Link)

That's a really popular sentiment with Euro poly people (I've never practiced poly in the States so don't know if there is a cultural difference.)

What they are trying to get at is that it's "easier" because it's more open and honest then the traditional Euro relationship model (which is, essentially, everyone cheats but just pretends they don't know their partner is up to something.)

But, the problem is that honesty doesn't always make things easier. Sometimes there's a reason that discretion became the societal norm.

These are the same people who claim that monogomy is "juvenile" and poly is mature and try to "prove" this by noting that most people in their teens/early 20s are mono but many of them become poly at some point after about age 30 (if we include affairs in the "poly" bracket.)

By they are confusing anecdotal evidence with actual causation.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

The Ferrett's Domain