For actual sensation, I'd say that the decrease is minimal. The things I don't like about condoms have less to do with sensation and more to do with other factors:

1- having to take a break to put on the condom
2- the smell of the condom (some are worse than others)
3- the awkward 'removal of the condom'
4- the propensity for some condoms to lead to UTIs, which means I need to pee right after sex to avoid it.

Less problems with sensation, more problems with ruining the fluidity of the moment BUT we still use them. It's one of those risks outweigh the inconvenience things.

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Yes, this, and the increased risk of thrush as I seem to be mildly allergic. Latex free condoms are better, but very expensive!

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For me my Not Go Crazy pills mean that the strength of my erection varies widely during the sex act which means the condom almost always falls off and becomes useless. So they just aren't practical for me.

I rely on frequent testing of my partners and withdrawal - and I tend to know my partners, online at least, for at least a year before I meet them in person so I have a general sense of the level of safety involved.

On the rare occasions that I actually manage to pick up a girl in a bar/club I stick to oral and digital sex.

(I have to visit my doctor every 30 days for my pills anyway so if I've hooked up with someone during that time period or if Rome Girl has been away and possibly hooked up I just get the test done as part of my visit.)

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Fluid-bonding's always an option if you can do it. The Not Go Crazy Pills have been a mild issue for me, which is annoying. (Anorgasmia drives me crazy.)

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Since you'll want to know:

I think condoms are a pain. I think they're messy, I think they sometimes cause problems with erections and/or coming, I think the moment of "Oh hey, we've moved to the moment where it's time to whip this sucker out" is, if not a mood-killer, a mood-dampener.

That said, I also think condoms are necessary. I think it's foolish to claim that condoms are not a pain, in the same sense that telling kids that drugs provide nothing but terrors and heartache.

And I think that in the end, yes, the sensation is reduced, but it's still pretty good. And you don't have to put a condom on to kiss, which is often one of the hottest parts. And the hottest thing about sex can be pleasing your partner, which often is enough to get me going.

So I think it's enough to put an unwelcome kink in the experience. But I also think they're quite necessary.

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On re-read it struck me as kind of funny that you say condoms are messy - while a number of women state the opposite. (That having been said, the latex smell and taste was icky, even before I became allergic.)

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As a vagina-owner I don't really notice the difference, except in that condoms reduce the amount of mess involved which is somewhat preferable.

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Rather, condoms reduce the mess from something I have to deal with to something he has to deal with.

There's not a lot of fine sensation down there; it's more the pressure and motion that you feel rather than texture, but I do like that condoms tend to be slicker than bareback, even with lots of lube in the mix.

The lube does sometimes make me itch afterward though.

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My wife and I generally use condoms, because a) it feels almost as good as going without, b) it significantly decreases the chances of unwanted pregnancy (without the use of chemicals or chemical-laden items inserted into her), and c) it reduces residual mess to "almost negligible".

Also, we buy multi-packs of condoms in assorted styles, but neither of us can tell an appreciable difference between styles, with the sole exception of Durex Performax, for obvious* reasons.


* Unless you've never bought/used/read about them, in which case: There's a bit of numbing gel on the inside tip, in order to assist the owner of the penis in question in lasting longer by intentionally decreasing sensation slightly.

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Interesting. I'd find it impossible to come in one of those things. Lasting longer in a condom has never been an issue.

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I've never had sex without a condom.

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Quite surprised that I'm the only who's said this!

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I have to be extremely careful which condoms I use as I not only sometimes react to the spermicidal lubricants used, but have a mild latex allergy. Painfully swollen lady bits/UTIs are not sexy. My personal well-being is far more important than the slight hassle of condoms, so when I was single and dating, I provided my own condoms. In order to have the exact type I needed for my own comfort, this seemed to be practical.

As for sensation loss, there is very little to none on my end. I do love bareback with someone to whom I'm 'fluid bonded'. I adore the way ejaculation feels: the pulsing and heat. That being said, if the relationship is not monogamous, no glove - no love, for anyone.

I'm not even sure I'm making sense on account of I need about four gallons of coffee. -_-

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a) You're making sense.

b) I know women with latex allergies and lube allergies, and it gets really really tricky for them. I feel sorry, since it makes casual sex even more of a hassle.

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When staying completely hard prior to penetration is a problem, it's nearly impossible to put the condoms on, as there's nothing hard enough to roll them down on. In those instances, for the partners I've been seeing long enough to be comfortable going without, I can still penetrate and will become hard once inside.

Otherwise it's either a waiting game until I can "perform" or we switch to manual. I have no problem with either, personally - my masculinity can survive using my fingers or tongue instead of my penis.

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Well said.

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I find my cock has three modes. There's HARD, which works for women who don't need more. But there's this VERYHARD when I'm near climax. I find condoms don't get me into that final stage. As a result, it helps with control, but it can be frustrating when your partner is done. Kinda like drunk sex.

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See, and this would matter for me, especially with some guys.

I'm going to be politically incorrect enough that I thought pretty hard about posting this anonymously, but, meh. I am a big girl, as in internally spacious, and I like a lot of vaginal stimulation. A lot of guys at HARD, as you mention above, aren't really going to give me enough. Oh, under the right circumstances it might be fine - it's so much more mental than physical, really - but from a purely carnal point it is likely not to be optimal. VERYHARD is much more likely to work better - and has the nice advantage of keeping us in sync.

Note, this is not advocating that bigger is better. It's all about right sizing. Many of my girlfriends do not like being penetrated by anything especially large. Me, if he starts both long and thick, and then he goes VERYHARD? Yeah, that is likely to be one to remember.

(That all being said, I've had sex with plenty of people who don't have penises. Or people who do, but prefer not to use them penetratively. In fact, the only reason this is an issue at all is so many people who do have penises have a lot of ego invested in them, and are not interested in finding approaches that work for everyone.)

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Dan Dan The Condom Man (a friend who was a spokesperson for the local AIDs education group here) taught a really great class about condoms for the BDSM group my ex-husband attempted to get off the ground about a decade ago (no wait, longer...), and strongly suggested putting a little lube in the condom before putting it on. My ex said it definitely helped (but he was one of those "condoms interfere with the spiritual intimacy" folks - how he ended up with kids from 2 different women during our marriage, and is apparently attempting to repopulate the earth...SO glad I'm not bankrolling that mess anymore).

Edited at 2012-05-01 03:39 pm (UTC)

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I've been meaning to try that - it was a trick I've thought about doing myself, since it seemed like a good idea, but glad to see that someone else has confirmed it.

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i have latex sensitivity to the point that i actually wear a medic alert bracelet. so most condoms are Right Out now.

i remember when i was dating in my teens and the guy was bitching about the thickness of the (admittedly CHEAPass) condom he was putting on. so i absolutely ruined the moment by saying "look honey, its the goodrich blimp!" (early 80's. goodrich tires were running an ad campaign that had someone saying "look its the goodrich blimp" when of course, only goodYEAR had a blimp, and the rube would look, and then say "heyyy goodrich doesnt HAVE a blimp!" silliness, *G*) we both laughed then resumed the moment after things came back to attention.

TheEngineer is unable to father children due to issues from birth. i am on the "yay, hot flashes!" side of menopause at 49. we arent indulging the desire for extra partners at the moment (although its an option that could be brought up again, after all we met on alt.polyamory) so we just dont bother with them, and havent for quite some time, although he DID have consistant use when he was dating.

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You missed a 'much better, thanks' option.

Or, as I originally put it before I realised I was going into way too much detail for a poll option, 'much better, as I don't have to worry about my vagina randomly going 'wtf that burns' at semen which it appears to do otherwise, and I don't have to clean up so extensively afterwards, in fact without one stuff drips out all day and it's really nasty, I'm not sure why other women put up with sex without condoms at all'.

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This is me clicking "Like".

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I find that the ease of clean up is a significant plus.

I'll admit barebacking is a lot of fun. But it's generally not enough fun to make up for its drawbacks in terms of risk of pregnancy or disease the overwhelming majority of the time. (For me there's also this intimacy / type of relationship thing. Even if we are using other methods of birth control, and even if the guy has been tested recently and has had no other partners for a while, if it's not a pretty committed sort of relationship I don't want to deal with a fluid bond. And pressuring me about it is such a major turn off... actually, really any pressuring about sex, and especially any that implies some kind of assumption of access to my body is just a major turn off. And I'm really fricking hypersensitive about this. Too many men have acted as if having slept with me once gave them a title to my body, and now I'm allergic and break out in hives at the least hint of this behavior.)

A good fitting latex condom is only marginally different for me than bareback, assuming it does substantially change what my partner is doing. Except for the part where I am allergic to latex.

Lambskin condoms are even closer, and are pretty darned nice - though on the expensive side (not so much to make it a problem, but it depends, I suppose, on one's budget and how frequently one has sex) and likely not as effective for death control. (I haven't been following the research there recently.) Though they smell disturbingly of roast lamb.

Polyurethane condoms have been my go-to items for the last many years. I like their durability, the plasticky crinkling, not so much.

I'll be interested in seeing the results. There has been a high (well, complete) overlap between men who said they had performance problems with condoms and men who were not respectful of my physical autonomy in other ways, so I tend to see it as a (mild) warning sign. But I suspect this might be that I haven't filtered out assholes effectively enough in the past.

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I'll be interested in seeing the results. There has been a high (well, complete) overlap between men who said they had performance problems with condoms and men who were not respectful of my physical autonomy in other ways, so I tend to see it as a (mild) warning sign.

Me too, SO MUCH. (and also the bit about breaking out in hives in response).

The part that distinguishes it between a warning sign and frank communication is when they bring it up. It's entirely possible to say (before sex is initiated) "hey, condoms sometimes cause some performance issues for me so please don't worry if that happens. Are you open to alternatives for pleasuring each other if that happens?" and then have a discussion about those alternatives vs bringing it up in the heat of things with a request to ditch the condom. I'm not having unprotected sex with anyone except a very serious (potential life) partner and I try to make that clear at the very beginning, so there's no point in trying to discuss it again.

In fact, this is my general rule about creep factor: ask me once, that's fine; ask me again, after I've made it clear that it's a hard limit, then gtfo, try to renegotiate in the heat of the moment, also gtfo.

(Also, I can't tell the difference except when the guy is ejaculating. I've had a guy who had sex with me without one and I didn't know - he actually got the condoms out and put one on and then took it off without telling me and I was not in a position to see what he did. Only found out later when he got angry at me for not being on hormonal contraceptives. UGH.)

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I'm in the "somewhat annoying" camp. I do like the lack of cleanup for me aspect, but they do change the sensation in a not positive way. Also the interruption is annoying.

Mostly, I distrust condoms as birth control because I think they are just not that effective. Sure, the PERFECT USE stats are pretty good, but who has PERFECT USE? I've had a few malfunction. And there's the "watch where you're pointing that" aspect during the time before the condom is donned. During the times when this was a big issue for me, I used the pill, because I didn't want to live with the paranoia of something going wrong with a condom.

Now, I'd rather wait to get pregnant for a little while longer, but it wouldn't be a huge deal if it happened. So we are okay with that wiggle in the failure rate. We're married, monogamous, and tested, so disease is not an issue.

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The pill vs condom thing has so many individual factors that I wish people would bring up more. For us, condoms seem so much MORE trustworthy. BC requires pretty precise use and lots of things reduce its efficacy. My OB warned me that based on my obesity I'll probably have reduced coverage which is reduced further every time I'm on antibiotics, not even taking into account that I'm not as good about taking the pill at the the same time each day. On the flip side, after 4 years of extremely regular condom use, my husband and I have never had a condom break or wiggle off or any other disasters. I wish more people would think about things like this a bit more when choosing the method for them (my SIL didn't take into account that constantly forgets things so you know, she probably should use a second/different method of contraception...)

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i lean toward "condoms are for emergencies" - as in, we're out somewhere and bump into someone/s we must have sex with right now. and honestly? that's not happened in the last fifteen years. i like to think i've gotten more picky about stuff like that. i need emotional connection and more before sex happens; it has to be about something. and i realize that doesn't make a lot of sense to some people for whatever reason, but it makes sense to me - and the people i've had sex with that it makes sense to, well, it's taken things to a different level.

also, i'm severely allergic to latex and condom lubricants. i don't know about elsewhere, but here where we live, it's damned near impossible to find non-latex non-lubricated condoms, and i absolutely hate vinyl condoms; they're horrible!

Edited at 2012-05-01 04:25 pm (UTC)

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I vastly prefer condoms during sex.

They eliminate a whole lot of mess for me (as a possessor of a vagina) and as far as I can tell, my partner (who is fairly fussy and has a penis) doesn't seem to find them to be more messy for him.

It also puts the pregnancy-prevention in both of our hands, since it's part of the household budget, and putting the condom on happens during sex, rather than just being something I have to deal with.

It also means sex during my period is MUCH more possible. See: mess.

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I have a issues with condoms, and would prefer not to use them in a perfect world where the reasons I *do* use them weren't at issue. But none of my issues have to do with sensation loss; by the time we get to the point *that* is an issue, we're usually home free.

(I've noticed fewer problems since I switched to non-latex condoms, leading me to speculate I might have a mild latex sensitivity.)

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I would so love to live in the perfect world where condoms aren't neccesary. They DO dull sensation for me - there are a few that let the body heat through in a way that isn't noticable to me, but they're few and far between, and what works best for me isn't always what works best for the male in question, and I'm much more inclined to use a condom that's best for him than best for me, since by the time the condoms are an issue, I've generally already had a very good time.

Given several aspects of my personal situation, going bareback isn't an option, so it's definitely a case of Suck it up, Buttercup. But I'm definitely not going to say there isn't a difference, because there totally is.

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Sometimes I find that they're quite nice. Then again, I've had a complete hysterectomy so sometimes there's a sudden aridity? ok dammit - sometimes it just dries out down there mid poke. When that happens, I found having the latex actually helps.

The rest of the time? not worth listening to 2 second harry bitch because he came before it got put on (OMG I wish I was kidding and it's been since the 90s since I've been with a condom)

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Male and likely to continue using after I get myself sterilised at some point -- less messy.

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I was a bit of a late bloomer, so condoms were actually my confirmation that I was in fact allergic to the latex gloves I was wearing in HS and College science lab. Here I had thought the itching, burning, and welts on my hands was a nuisance!

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Science FTW!

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I will say that a big part of the condom equation was solved for me when I started trying out different condoms. I was a Trojan man for the longest time but they never perfectly worked for me. I tried a few of their different varieties and brands but never found that perfect match. The one that just finally changed it all for me was Durex Avanti Bare. It's a non-latex condom that is nice and thin and fits like a glove. They're a bit more expensive then others but so worth the extra expense in my opinion. The only problem is that I can only seem to find them in one store in my area but at least it is near my house.

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I'll have to experiment and see what happens.

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I've only ever used them a handful of times and I don't like them really.

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Bareback, I can take it rougher, faster etc. Condoms not so much, as they chafe, and if I'm in the mood, I'm pretty well lubricated.

Reduced sensation. I have yet to receive vaginal orgasms vs clitoral ones from a condom. I have received vaginal orgasms without one.

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Putting a condom on is an awkward hassle, but once it's on, it doesn't reduce my enjoyment considerably.

However, if I'm without a condom, I often can't help the nagging feeling that this whole thing really isn't very hygienic, and that's somewhat distracting. Doesn't have anything to do with STDs as such. Even if I knew for sure that both of us were 100% clean, there's still a bit of the same kind of feeling that makes you want to avoid having anything touch an open wound. It's the knowledge that you're doing something with a thing that you wouldn't want to get infected, in a place that you wouldn't want to infect, and that your respective bodies aren't as protected here as they would be in some place that was covered by unbroken skin.

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