Why Satisfying Is Not Often Smart - The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal
Why Satisfying Is Not Often Smart|
So basically, that's the exact opposite of what really happened. And you're so right.
A couple things strike me about this. First of all, if we put bullets through every computer used to post whiny, self-absorbed rants to social networks, we'd run out of computers faster than China could build new ones.
Secondly, if this is indicative of how the father reacts to parenting challenges, perhaps the daughter is entitled to the occasional privacy-locked rant.
Third, he violated her privacy, pure and simple. This is no different than breaking the lock on her diary and reading the contents on the NBC Nightly News. Except that Tom Brokaw wouldn't allow guns in the studio. Everyone needs a protected space where they can vent their frustrations, anxieties, dreams, idle musings, etc where they have a reasonable expectation of control over their intended audience and privacy. He had no right to read what he sought out. She's 16, and that's old enough for her to have sovereignty over her own thoughts and feelings.
The gun violence against the laptop is very symbolic. To me, it's very clear that her (private) speech has enormous consequences. She would not be wrong to compare her situation to living under a brutal dictatorship.
The other thing is, he's a parent of a 16 year-old. He states she's been grounded for three months. Ok, but how much longer are you going to be able to ground her for months on end? And what lesson are you trying to impart? Because I don't think this current strategy is effective for anything other than alienation. Because as soon as that kid gets out of the house, she's never looking back. It's no wonder there's no respect from the kid when there isn't any coming down from the "adult" in the relationship.
Also - and I missed it the first time I watched because I skimmed through - but right before he fired the second shot he said something about "And you owe me for the bullets, too!"
That's absolutely the lowest point in your relationship with your daughter, sir. Every shot you fire is a shot through your relationship. I think you killed it.
|Date:||February 14th, 2012 04:38 pm (UTC)|| |
Yeah, somehow that line just added salt to the open wounds.
First of all, if we put bullets through every computer used to post whiny, self-absorbed rants to social networks, we'd run out of computers faster than China could build new ones.
Oh, amen! I'm 41 and I *still* post whiny, self-absorbed rants, so I tend to give a kid that age the benefit of the doubt. I can understand the dad getting mad, but he really overreacted. And I agree she should have her privacy. If I was a parent, I would only violate it if it was an extreme situation in which I was terrified about my child's safety.
I have to wonder if that guy has really taken time to think about how much control he actually has over his child or to life in general. Like others have said, I think he has control issues. I think if he gives her love and talks to her about why he wants her to behave a certain, sooner or later, she will straighten up. Her growing up and maturing will take care of her behavioral issues. Him being too angry and controlling is what might actually cause her to go the wrong way by her reacting to him out of spite.