I agree that everyone has different preferences but I think the key to true greatness comes not from getting it right the first time as much as learning to adjust one's techniques according to experience quickly. The key is knowing how to recognize the signals or, failing that, knowing how to ask and listen to the answers.

I do think there's a lot to be said for enthusiasm. I'm certainly going to enjoy a sexual experience (either as the giver or the receiver) a lot more if there's enthusiasm on both sides.

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I mostly agree with this. Although I'm paranoid enough that I have sometimes explicitly started things with "so okay, is there anything I need to know right now NOT to do while I'm down there, 'cause it's going to terrify you or give you awful flashbacks or anything?".

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One of the things I've managed to do almost every time I entered a sexual relationship was talk about what's liked and what's not before the clothes even come off.

It's particularly important for me to have that discussion when it comes to oral sex. In part because I'm not particularly interested in receiving it but love giving it. The nice thing is, if I find out that my potential partner feels the same way, we can come to a compromise in advance and there's no need for someone to pretend they like something when they really don't.

Good point about the potential for bad flashbacks. It's really sad how often that exists and it can be really traumatizing for both people when it happens.

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