The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - A Word On Sex From A Guy Who’s Had A Bit Of It
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A Word On Sex From A Guy Who’s Had A Bit Of It|
|Date:||October 25th, 2011 04:45 pm (UTC)|| |
(Plus, most people who talk openly about their sexual skills, exaggerate them. I’ve rarely heard a guy telling a girl, “Yeah, I’ve never gotten the hang of this whole ‘cunnilingus’ thing.”)
This cracked me up. Very true. It's also one of the things that seems to be equal between the genders. Without fail every woman I've slept with has proudly told me of her incredible blow job skills and the only one who got that right was also the only one who said so after proving it.
Having said that, however, I do believe that confidence goes a long way and one of the hardest things to overcome in sex is doubt.
Huh... whereas I tend to announce fairly early in that I'm bad at giving head, and ok at cunnilingus but only for a little while. My partners generally agree with my assessment, but it's not a big deal because there are lots of other things to do...
As a sales technique, this "I'm terrible at it" actually winds up intriguing me more. :)
|Date:||October 25th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)|| |
Yeah, my impulse might be to offer a tutorial. :D
Heh. For me it ain't so much a sales technique as a disclaimer.
|Date:||October 26th, 2011 03:27 am (UTC)|| |
Admittedly, I haven't been around all that much so my survey pool, so to speak, isn't all that broad. I think it's a good idea to be upfront about your shortcomings, if only so that there's room for pleasant surprises. Or, if nothing else, you can get right to the other things there are to do.
That's why I never claim I'm good in bed. I claim I've done a lot of it. I claim I have certain baseline skills. But that doesn't mean I'm good.
|Date:||October 26th, 2011 03:23 am (UTC)|| |
I like to say I'm a quick study.
In my opinion, blow job skills are not readily transferable from one man to the next. Each fellow has different things he finds exciting and satisfying as well as annoying or uncomfortable or turn-offy. One of my BFs loves a lot of teeth, another one doesn't want any at all, for example.
Anyhow. . . . I am a big fan of giving blow jobs, so I think my enthusiasm goes a long way. (heh heh Everything sounds naughty all of a sudden) I'd let my partners be the ones to say whether I'm especially good or not.
*grins* Hooray for TMI!
|Date:||October 26th, 2011 03:22 am (UTC)|| |
I agree that everyone has different preferences but I think the key to true greatness comes not from getting it right the first time as much as learning to adjust one's techniques according to experience quickly. The key is knowing how to recognize the signals or, failing that, knowing how to ask and listen to the answers.
I do think there's a lot to be said for enthusiasm. I'm certainly going to enjoy a sexual experience (either as the giver or the receiver) a lot more if there's enthusiasm on both sides.
|Date:||October 26th, 2011 10:24 pm (UTC)|| |
I mostly agree with this. Although I'm paranoid enough that I have sometimes explicitly started things with "so okay, is there anything I need to know right now NOT to do while I'm down there, 'cause it's going to terrify you or give you awful flashbacks or anything?".
|Date:||October 26th, 2011 11:14 pm (UTC)|| |
One of the things I've managed to do almost every time I entered a sexual relationship was talk about what's liked and what's not before the clothes even come off.
It's particularly important for me to have that discussion when it comes to oral sex. In part because I'm not particularly interested in receiving it but love giving it. The nice thing is, if I find out that my potential partner feels the same way, we can come to a compromise in advance and there's no need for someone to pretend they like something when they really don't.
Good point about the potential for bad flashbacks. It's really sad how often that exists and it can be really traumatizing for both people when it happens.