The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - Duke Nukem: Slappa De Tits, Slappa De Tits
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Duke Nukem: Slappa De Tits, Slappa De Tits|
This video (NSFW) will most likely erase all of your desire to play Duke Nukem:
Yes, that is Duke punching some alien embedded-in-the-wall titties and making insulting one-liners. Yes, it's a little sickening. Yes, it's also pretty stupid.
I dunno. I remember really liking Duke 3D when it came out, enjoying its over-the-top nature and stupid-masculine gameplay - then again, I had yet to see the Evil Dead trilogy, so I didn't know where half of the one-liners had come from, but still, I thought it was pretty neat. This new Duke looks just sort of mean-spirited, and I'm not sure whether it's my feminist ideology having lowered the bar, or the game being genuinely different, or even me not having played it so I can't really judge. (It could also be that making a cartoonish series more realistic triggers different reactions from me - even by the standards of its time, Duke didn't have really good graphics and as such went for comic book-style nutso. And as I'd discussed yesterday, I'm used to hypermasculinity in comic books.)
This one, though, I'll try it if a friend of mine buys it, but I'm not gonna run out and get it. Because my need to slap alien titties these days is, sadly, low.
This entry has also been posted at http://theferrett.dreamwidth.org/118881.html. You can comment here, or comment there; makes no never-mind by me.
Here's the thing - if you want to make an offensive video game, whatever, but don't go halfway.
The way the new Duke seems to be constructed is that you can say to yourself "well, it's really just a first person action game with a little bit of naughty bullshit in it."
Fuck that shit. If you are going to make a game that embraces masculine insecurities about women just fucking go Full On Wrong instead of Wrong But We'll Give You An Excuse.
Here's an example of a game you could create that would be offensive, but at least honest about it's offensiveness.
Call it Jack. D. Ripper.
As Jack your goal in each level would be to rape a given number of women without getting arrested. The first level would be in the prostitute slums of London in the mid 1880s where there were few cops and most people didn't give a shit what happened to prostitutes, so you'd have few "enemies" to avoid/kill.
With each level you'd advance through time and police would become more plentiful and their tactics to catch you more advanced.
Finally, in the last level you'd be in a modern shopping mall in broad daylight with cops and security guards and potential witnesses all the fuck over the place, but still have to rape and kill X number of women without leaving the mall or getting caught on any of the CCTV cameras.
It would be offensive - but it would be honest about what it was doing.
Well, or even if Duke had done what he'd doubtlessly wanted to do, which is to kneel down and suck on the titties, or squeeze them. But I think what's getting to me about this is that the only reaction that's okay for America when it comes to tits is to look at them, then punch them.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 01:33 pm (UTC)|| |
I think this might be the first video game that I would have serious problems with you buying - I'm not going to say "forbid you buying" because we don't play that way, but I would be disappointed if you even brought it into the house.
I'm actually sickened by this. The alien appears to be no threat, and is in fact crying in pain. What's the point, and what's the lesson?
I'd have to agree, honestly. Well, maybe not sickened. But definitely confused and disturbed.
I admit, "strange, silicon-based life form" made me chuckle, but I'm sure that could be worked in in any number of ways that don't involve beating up weird alien breasts while listening to a woman's screams. That's not "over-the-top mysognist". That's just unequivocally creepy.
It's the breasts screaming and sobbing while he beats them that moves it from stupid to gross and upsetting. I would honestly be suspicious of anyone that did own this game.
I'm thinking about buying it just to see how bad it is and then selling it back (because my local game store has a very generous buy back policy.)
My feeling is there's no way to tell if any of these videos are actually representative of gameplay - or if these are weird bugs people are exploiting. For all we know you aren't supposed to slap the breasts and some douchebag just figured out you could and decided to exploit that.
For example in one of my star wars games it's possible to just randomly kill Ewoks - it's not the point of the game and you don't get any points for it, but if I wanted to I could make a youtube video of myself slaughtering harmless teddy bears.
Beyond that, I'll admit to a morbid curiosity as to exactly how stupid and nasty they'll try to be and if I end up losing 15 euros between my original cost and the buyback, it's worth it to me - if for no other reason than mocking it would make a good blog post.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 01:45 pm (UTC)|| |
I would have a lot less of a problem with this if the wall-tits weren't wailing in pain. Ha ha fake tits, whatever. Go ahead and whap some silicone, they've already got titty stress balls and whatever. Punching breasts to make an invisible woman cry and scream is just in poor taste.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 02:17 pm (UTC)|| |
And apparently spewing milk everywhere? Is that what that white stuff is?
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 01:52 pm (UTC)|| |
The "got milk?" line was juvenile, but the sobbing is creeptastic. I have a difficult time seeing how random boobs are much of a threat, either.
Also, with the lowest breast being so large, the whole thing reminded me of a pregnant woman's torso.
Ick, ick, ick, ick, ICK.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 01:53 pm (UTC)|| |
I think they changed the title from "Duke Nukem: Shut The Hell Up Already, Here's Your Goddamn Game, Hope You Like What We Did To It You Little Bastards"
I've had a problem with this game ever since the "cosplayers" at PAX: the con where there are rules against booth babes, of course, but these two girls aren't booth babes! They're cosplayers! Hired by the game company....dressed in little schoolgirl outfits...cosplaying as two "characters" whose only role is giving Duke a blowjob during the trailer.
|Date:||June 18th, 2011 06:11 am (UTC)|| |
Man, PAX is usually cooler then that.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 02:05 pm (UTC)|| |
Based on the comments, I am not even watching this video because I am not in the mood to be filled with THAT much rage; I'm upset enough just reading the descriptions.
dont be sad, i only got through about 10 seconds of it. it was THAT disturbing. seriously.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 02:07 pm (UTC)|| |
The thing is, Duke Nukem used to be wrong and chauvinistic and not at all politically correct. But, if I remember correctly, it was never simply raunch for raunch's sake. If you wanted the more risque parts of the game, you went to the pr0n store or the strip club, but I seriously don't remember anything like punching fake screaming boobs for fun or fingering arseholes to open doors. It's just offensive and wrong purely for the sake of being offensive and wrong.
That's how I remember it, but a) I haven't played this game, and b) it's been a loooong time since I played the old DN3D.
Yeah, I saw this embedded in an article yesterday and was just filled with squeamishness and revulsion.
There's a better-than-even chance I got it from you.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 02:49 pm (UTC)|| |
No, it's not just your memories, or Feminist sensibilities. This game has garnered such horrible, mind-blowing brutal reviews the the PR firm made a threat, unprecedented in the video game industry, to punish
publishers of negative reviews:
"Too many went too far with their reviews...we are reviewing who gets games next time and who doesn't based on today's venom," the company tweeted. "Bad scores are fine. Venom filled reviews...that's completely different," another tweet read.
They backed down, but bluntly, everything I've read from reputable sources says "avoid this game like the plague". Not even the putrid stuff, like the fecal matter and obvious sexism, but just because it's an poorly-developed game idea, with weak graphics and gameplay to boot.
Do yourself a favor, man, and avoid this game -- a game that'll piss off people how give a damn about you, and to no benefit in terms of fun or enjoyment.
|Date:||June 18th, 2011 06:12 am (UTC)|| |
This, among other things, makes me sad. The Duke Nukem N64 games were awesome. The 'worst' they got was female hostages bizarrely having orgasms when Duke rescued them.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 02:51 pm (UTC)|| |
Its disgusting, but I'm fairly certain the crying is coming from nearby. From what I know some (sigh) women have been kidnapped by aliens and been made pregnant by them, and are weeping in the background. I think so anyway. Its still horrid anyway.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 02:53 pm (UTC)|| |
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 02:56 pm (UTC)|| |
damn i feel like i must have been in a rip van winkle time machine.
is it true that all you need to do to be a feminist these days is not slap fake titties?
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 07:56 pm (UTC)|| |
I cannot work up the levels of sarcasm required to reply to this properly. Lo siento.
so so so torn. i can't watch this 'til i'm at home or the office clears out. T was *so* excited for the release of this game and we went to the midnight release. the little bits i've seen haven't been too bad, imo. the idea of slapping tits? if that's your thing, have fun with it - it's only a game. slapping tits with crying/wailing in the background? not so much.
As much as I disagreed with the sexisim in comics being a problem, this game does seem to be a problem.
Seriously, what the fuck? It's way past sexism.
And I liked the other Duke Nukem games. They were a fun over the top type thing. But that? I've watched porn with more class.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 04:21 pm (UTC)|| |
Our review doesn't post til Monday, but I've already edited it; the reviewer calls it ugly, dumb, and mean, and specifically cites a sequence where Duke encounters a bunch of women who've been impregnated by aliens (which is apparently where the crying is coming from in this video, according to comments above) and have essentially morphed into giant bloated penises from the waist down. And they cry and wail and you have to shoot them all to death or they will give birth to monsters who will attack you. And Duke says "It's better this way, baby" before killing them.
So yeah, I'm with the poster above who isn't even watching the video because there's no reason to subject myself to this, but I'm suspecting everyone involved with the release of this game has serious, SERIOUS problems with women.
...or if they didn't before, they do now. D: D: D:
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 04:27 pm (UTC)|| |
I've played about 4 hours of this game and I'm not having fun yet. Mashing together old-school FPS mechanics with damage fog and regeneration just does not work well. I was expecting juvenile toilet humor, and the game delivers. Predictably, it's almost never funny. I'll stick with it, simply because I've been waiting for so long, but Serious Sam did Duke better than this game does. At least as far as I've played.
Judging from the loading screen hints, and Rollick's post above, these things are called Pregenators. I haven't reached that point yet, but from all these comments, I doubt I'll play past that point.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 05:46 pm (UTC)|| |
I just don't really know how to engage with a game in which it is acceptable and encouraged to repeatedly beat on breasts while a woman's voice sobs in the background. Not just beat up, but beat on WHILE openly mocking and laughing.
All I can think of are the stories of rapists who laugh while they're assaulting women.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 05:53 pm (UTC)|| |
Don't worry. You are supposed to kill the women who are sobbing in the background, too. They're sobbing because they're being raped, by the way.
|Date:||June 17th, 2011 05:56 pm (UTC)|| |
If a friend of yours buys this game, drop them as a friend.
I feel literally nauseated by what I've heard of this, the screenshots, and the YouTube gameplay videos. I feel sick to my stomach that a person could make this. I really, really, really think that any person who has the CAPACITY to be involved in this in ANY way, including playing it, is something I'm scared of.
This is not an argument for banning the game, of course. It IS, however, an argument that anyone who knows anyone involved in this sick piece of shit ought to be careful around that person, and probably watch them for purchase of hacksaws and garbage bags.
Do you condemn people who watch slasher and horror movies? Or those who make them?
Because, frankly, there's plenty of sick shit in those, too, and yet the societal attitude toward them is more than tolerant.
The people who created this? Sure. They're fucked up. But the people who buy it? Especially people who may not have read the various reviews? Or who preordered it?
I mean, according to you, the gentleman (or lady, I suppose) above who doubts he'll play past the point herein discussed is clearly some kind of deviant who ought not to be trusted.
Of course, you cheerfully play and enjoy a game where you can apparently incite gangs of children to murder each other and where disturbing imagery features prominently.
But I'm sure that's different.
There's another video linked off that one with him punching someone in the nuts repeatedly like they are a speedbag so, for what it's worth, the game is universally going for the low blow.
|Date:||June 18th, 2011 12:12 am (UTC)|| |
The crying and wimpering is pretty horrible.
Still, I can't see why the twins scene is being taken so seriously when the "victims" themselves come out with such laughable lines: it just plays like a sequence from a rubbish B-movie.
you know I actually wanted to play that game just to see after 14 years it was any good, I actually feel bad that I wanted to play this. It's the Deuce Bigalow European Gigalow of video games
That's just disturbing. I tried to think of something else but it just comes down to disturbing (the crying in the background isn't helping AT ALL). Disembodied breasts hanging from a wall... it's like an evening at serial killers house.
|Date:||June 18th, 2011 06:03 am (UTC)|| |
Well, the plot to most Duke Nukem games is 'Aliens come by and shoot everyone'.
|Date:||June 18th, 2011 06:02 am (UTC)|| |
Food for thought: In previous games you could drink your own pee.
|Date:||June 19th, 2011 06:35 am (UTC)|| |
Hey, you can do that in the Man Vs Wild video game! (Yes, there is such a game, I saw it being tested. And yes, you can in fact drink your own pee in it. True fax.)