The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - Fabulous Disasters
April 4th, 2010
12:26 am

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Fabulous Disasters
So I'm playing around with FetLife, "The Facebook of Kinksters," because a friend of mine sent me a nice message when I was feeling down. That, in turn, got me looking around the site to see how it works. And while it's comprehensive and very clean in some ways, as a web designer I have issues with much of the way the site is designed - it seems actively hostile towards networking in some ways. And finding people you may know on other social networks? Reasonably tough.

I mean, I'm not a fan of the "Give us access to your Twitter/Facebook/Gmail and we'll check to see who's on-board!" methodology - I think on the whole, it trains people to blindly hand access to sites that could just as easily harvest the info to spam their contacts - but such behavior has a place, and a new social network is potentially one of them. "Why," I wondered, "Does this thing not have the ability to link accounts?"

Then I thought of what would happen if I checked for contacts on FetLife and found my Mom. Or my ex-boss. Or my wife's relatives.

The embarrassing possibilities piled up, and soon enough I was shudderingly grateful they forbade me to check my contacts list. Thank you, FetLife. Thank you for keeping whatever slim slice of my sanity I have intact.

(11 shouts of denial | Tell me I'm full of it)

Comments
 
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From:sezjasaneh
Date:April 4th, 2010 04:57 am (UTC)
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Hi, just added you as a friend :) Read a few of your posts on poly and find them interesting - I'm partnered with sonicbunny and his OSO lorriet :)
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From:theferrett
Date:April 4th, 2010 06:50 pm (UTC)
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Hi there! I know and approve of both of them, so welcome aboard!

I ain't always poly-talkin', but it comes up enough.
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From:selenite
Date:April 4th, 2010 05:41 am (UTC)
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I've visualizing an admin in his cups telling about The Feature That Only Stayed In For Three Hours. . . .
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From:pete23
Date:April 4th, 2010 12:53 pm (UTC)
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...the media called it "Incest Thursday"...
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From:phoenix_hawk
Date:April 4th, 2010 06:42 am (UTC)
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I'm embarrassingly bland, monogamous, and almost depressingly incurious in exploring polyamory, swinging, or other similar activities. Having said that, I have a few swinger friends, and after having several conversations about the life in general, received a few invitations to said parties to figure things out for myself.

What prevented me from going other than lack of interest? Being patiently explained to that a lot of people in the area don't spend much time talking about their jobs or names... as there's (supposedly) quite a few judges and lawyers in the groups my friends attended, and they don't really want to be outed by the larger community.

So yeah...Good call, FetLife.
[User Picture]
From:misalady
Date:April 4th, 2010 07:38 am (UTC)
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I usually try manually looking up commonly used usernames for my friends. That's how people find me, too. (Well, if they use ThisRedhead, which came years after I started my LJ.)
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From:lots42
Date:April 4th, 2010 09:26 am (UTC)
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This amuses me slightly because I lie to the majority of my family about my primary Internet Identity so they don't find out I like catgirls/dislike libereralism/don't want kids and a bunch of other stuff they wouldn't get or agree with.
[User Picture]
From:cameoflage
Date:April 4th, 2010 09:26 pm (UTC)
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*puts on Spelling Nazi hat* Libereralism? :P
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From:nounsandverbs
Date:April 4th, 2010 09:41 am (UTC)
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Yup. Even people I already counted as friends have shown me more through their FetLife accounts than I arguably needed to know. In general I think all information is valuable, but damn.
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From:merrick42
Date:April 4th, 2010 04:48 pm (UTC)
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Actually, up until a couple months ago there was a contacts search function for going through your gmail contacts, but the administrators took it down because they say it stopped working.
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From:therinth
Date:April 6th, 2010 07:57 am (UTC)
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Did you see...my post...about the rabbi? (*faints, cries*)
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