The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - Clarion Photos Of Me
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12:30 pm
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Clarion Photos Of Me
Okay, so I went to Clarion. And so have some photos, along with commentary.
I have edited out the uglier photos of me - which is most of them, since my Clarion was full of attractive people and I kept going, "Whoah, who's that chunky bald dude?" in every picture. Thankfully, this is my journal and I can edit out the multiple chins.
This is the most dramatic shot of me, taken in the first week... And the running gag at Clarion is that if you had a good picture, hey, that coule be your author photo! My purple-and-white hair is obvious here, but I look as though I'm about to kill someone. I hope this is not how they think of me. That said, the purple faded after a week of sun and shampoo to a pale white, giving me the "Fat Rutger Hauer" look that's so in vogue amongst the fortysomething set, and I only went back to purple in my final three days.
I think, though slightly blurred, this could be my author photo. At least it's closer to how I perceive myself.
This is a shot of the Novellette Team. The shortest story any of us submitted in the course of our eighteen stories was 4,300 words - and that was mine, and it was by far my suckiest story. And all of us had insanely ambitious short stories that were really novels in disguise. So we're doomed, apparently, to write long novels; not the worst fate.
This is a picture of me and  dien, which I adore almost as much as I adore dien herself. Alas, there's a great photo of kehrli and I dancing slowly to a fucked-up cover version of "You're The One That I Want," but I can't find it.
"But Ferrett," you say. "There is no you here!" And though your grammar is questionable, your accuracy is true. Except that I am here, since what people are scrawling in the sand with their toes are the words "HAPPY BIRTHDAY FERRETT." Which was sweet.
People held small interventions with me, asking quietly, "Ferrett, how much Diet Pepsi do you drink?" And the answer was that I didn't know, because the cafeteria had fountain dispensers. But this is what I looked like in the morning, and I think everyone would agree from this picture that I'm worse off without my writing juice.
Speaking of the cafeteria, the food was terrible. You can see me here gnawing on my last piece of bacon, a look of terror on my face.
At our impromptu graduation ceremony, when we threw our Burger King crowns into the air as we would toss mortarboards, I did a little happy dance. These are rarely capture on camera; my happydances are like Bigfoot, or perhaps Nessie.
I enjoy this photo very much. It makes me look as though I have a chin.
The only photo of me and Neil Gaiman in the same room, that's Dave McKean in the background. Neil is amused because I am about to drink one of the foulest concoctions known to man, but the full story can only be told at the vodka blogging site Infusions of Grandeur. Get my photos up, guys!
Not my greatest shot, but this was the Ethiopian restaurant I went to for Monica's birthday, and it was one of the happiest moments at all of Clarion.
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| | ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/99678820/208448) | | From: | aiela |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC) |
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The "chin" picture is awesome. You have this very devious look in your face. I like. ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/109082541/810751) | | From: | jfargo |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 04:47 pm (UTC) |
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+1, as they say here on the interweb. That first photo is actually Eddie Izzard auditioning for the role of John McClane. I vote for the shot with Neil as your author photo. Even if you do have to crop him out. ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/40497973/951469) | | From: | zillah3 |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 05:02 pm (UTC) |
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seconded! Woah, I don't remember the picture of you + Neil + Dave McKean -- whose photo set is it off of?
(MISS YOU. How's yr Wk 7 story going?) Miss you like woah, kiddo. It's off of Paul's photo set, and it's practically a comic strip since it gives the whole tale of me and the regrettable beverage.
Week seven is one scene away from being done. Then some edits. Ready for Friday, deffo. And may be 4,000 words when it's done. Scary, nu? Neil Gaiman is like Bernard Black's good twin, isn't he?
Edited at 2008-08-12 04:59 pm (UTC) Now that you mention it... I've always been of the opinion that Dylan Moran would do a good job of looking like Neil for a biopic. Whether or not he could act like him though...
Naw, Dylan's awesome, of course he could act like Neil :) I like your taste in the last two ironed shirts. Very cute! ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/71362746/9058) | | From: | fuschia |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC) |
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Yay! I love your happy dance, and I don't think I've seen it caught on film before!
\o/ YAY dien pictures!! YAY your pictures! YAY! ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/61156399/1096107) | | From: | dien |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 06:12 pm (UTC) |
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*giggles*
*also, tackles Ferrett*
Dammit, man, I miss you so much. I am going into hug withdrawal which is HIGHLY IRONIC. This is ironic. And yet, as I said, I had dien hugs and missed Ginicuddles. Now I have Ginicuddles and want Danacuddles. Dangit! ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/49364746/1096107) | | From: | dien |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 06:54 pm (UTC) |
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What can you do, yeah? Oh well. We will just hug each other a lot next time we see. That sounds good to me.
Also, I miss nerding out with you. But you know how that is. ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/13860340/2023318) | | From: | tummies |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 05:09 pm (UTC) |
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YES! The Ethiopian dinner was of course one of my happiest nights at Clarion - glad it was for you, too :) 'Twas awesome. I only wish we'd gotten to hang out even more, but I dug your need to get, y'know, sleep.
There shall be time at cons! Nothing but love for these pictures of you! I saved the one of you and the crown though.
No, I won't tell you what I'm using it for. :D ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/116043199/6527576) | | From: | jer_ |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 05:36 pm (UTC) |
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I really like the hair, but we need to dye the goatee too! I really like the T-shirt in the first pic. ^^ *has been following your Clarion posts with awe and insane jealousy* How could I not wear my "PLOT!" T-shirt?
I chose all my shirts to reflect my mood of the day, which was ironic because my last day's shirt - I'm Blogging This - was in itself a commentary on my final story. So when I stopped commenting, I commented. ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/59956268/882385) | | From: | anon52 |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC) |
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Dude. You look a lot like Tim Curry these days.
Which is fitting, of course.
From now on, your blog entries will be narrated by said Englishman inside my brain. Great photos. Sounds like you really had a great time. | From: | katal |
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| Date: | August 12th, 2008 09:42 pm (UTC) |
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I'm glad that Clarion was such a positive experience for you. I vote that your author photo should be the first one or the happy dance. ...also... I am sad. I liked the long hair. You can never beat Burger King crowns for impromptu celebrations. you really look like paul giamatti, but I bet you've gotten that before. In the doorbustin' "Murder in Room Nine" shot you look absolutely devious. I don't know WHAT that is in your hand, but your expression assures me its final destination is my colon! Also: the AUTHOR pic is definitely the Sopranos-Go-Hawaii shirt with the ubiquitous red cup of collegiate debauchery. THAT's you. That would be a gigantic watergun. We didn't have nearly enough waterfights. You got to drink with Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean...
Dammit, man, how will I ever top that?
Seriously, you had an awesome adventure out there, and I salute you for it. I didn't in this photo, since Neil wasn't drinking - but now that I think about it, we did have drinks at the bar.
Neil was good, but all of the other instructors were also incredible in their own way. Neil just minded showing up on my blog the least. ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/78092335/35365) | | From: | roaming |
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| Date: | August 13th, 2008 04:26 am (UTC) |
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Ferrett, I don't know about handsome or fat or chins or whatnot. None of that computes. What I see is what I saw when I first laid on on my honey. I thought, "What a GOOD face!" A face of someone you find yourself wanting to know. The "is it a good face" litmus test has never failed me yet, it's a first impression that always has proven true.
Besides, you KNOW that "for a geek" you're damn sexy. And you KNOW that geeks know the score. So. . . . you might as well lay back and enjoy it. :-P Alas, I don't know that I'm damn sexy, but I'll try to keep it in mind. *g* ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/55886881/35365) | | From: | roaming |
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| Date: | August 14th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC) |
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Ever occur to you that YOUR idea of what's sexy may not be everyone else's? That you don't set the reality on that? That there's something for everyone? That's what I tell myself when my 18 years younger fiance (we're together 8 years) tells me every day he finds me beautiful.* It's weird to me because if I point to a photo of a group of women standing together, and ask him to pick the one he finds most attractive, he invariably picks the one I find least attractive, and shrugs "eh" at the one I think beautiful. So all I can think is Thank God we have different taste, as I don't find me either beautiful or sexy, but if he does, yay.
*(Of course, him being a Heinlein fan, I love to get him riled by reminding him that Lazarus Long famously said, in his Notebooks</a>: "Always tell a womanshe's beautiful, especially if she isn't." ;-P ) One curious question, now that you mention appearance again - did you keep up with exercise while you were at Clarion?
It's 6 (?) weeks of making a new you as an author. You're in a new environment for 42 days, which is long enough to establish a good habit or two. I did for the first four weeks, then fell down. I'm taking some time off, then back next week. ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/99792071/6490) | | From: | nuala |
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| Date: | August 13th, 2008 07:13 am (UTC) |
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Love the hair. Thanks for sharing pics :D xx this is your best pict  cover jacket please make a voting item with that in the lineup i promise you it will win ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/42836245/718695) | | From: | bec76 |
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| Date: | August 13th, 2008 04:03 pm (UTC) |
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Y'know, all your pix are awesome, but I gotta say, I vote for either Author-With-Gun, or Crown-n-Booze shot as your author picture.
Glad you're home! *hug* ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/29177458/6855989) | | From: | cathy_n |
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| Date: | August 13th, 2008 09:49 pm (UTC) |
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Maybe I'm reading too much into this...
By some freaky coincidence, all the females in the above pictures who were brave enough to submit themselves to the rigors of Clarion all appear to be (choose one): a) masculine b) lacking body curves.
Where are the chunky wimmin like your wife who have great personalities and stories to tell? Where are the chunky female counterparts to the chunky males I see?
Are the only women who possess the courage to confront their art face-to-face in a mixed-gender crowd the ones who "fit in" by being man-like or generically man-pleasing?
Controversially yours, with run-on sentences... The 4th to the last has curves, with boobs that would easily overflow a reacharound cupping.
And the blond in 2nd to the last definitely has some curviness to her.
So from what I see, they're all pretty ordinary in build.
Unless you're expecting very curvy women. ![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/106694206/1446905) | | From: | jerynn |
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| Date: | August 15th, 2008 11:46 am (UTC) |
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Thou shalt use the happy Ferret, Lord of the Dance pic as thine author photo. So it has been decreed, so it shall be. That is all.
Ciao
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