The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - Three Movie Meanderings: Lar Wars and The Little Mermaid
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Three Movie Meanderings: Lar Wars and The Little Mermaid
Lars and the Real Girl (warning: Doll spoilers):
So there's this guy in a small town. He's sort of nerdy but has women throwing themselves at him at church because everyone knows he's a catch. He's supposed to be kind, I guess, but realistically he just looks around in confusion all the time, as though he's afraid if he speaks too loud the world will shatter. One wonders how he's stumbled through life this far.
And one day, rather than date a real girl, he buys a RealDoll. And tells everyone this is his girlfriend from out of town. He seems to believe it.
Fortunately, this is the kind of movie where everyone gets the memo that they have to go along with this or the plot goes nowhere. And it's the kind of heartwarming, quirky little town that only exists in movies, where everyone instinctively understands that this is Lars' way of working through his quasi-existent trauma, and so everyone in the whole world decides unilaterally that pretending that this doll is real is something good and wholesome. And they all get the message, which is good, because it could be awkward if someone were to see a guy pushing a RealDoll in a wheelchair down the street and decided it was just some lunatic.
Fortunately, the town doctor mentions that everyone's a little crazy. "Your wife was a klepto!" she says spryly at a husband, who doesn't think to say, "Perhaps, but she didn't spend $6,000 to buy a sex doll and then tell everyone she was a crippled girl in a wheelchair and ask the entire town to tell him how awesome she is. I mean Gladys, there's crazy and then there's crazy."
Anyway, according to Lars the RealDoll is crippled and sickly - that's why she can't walk. The town gets into it to make the RealDoll a kind of large Barbie, dressing her up, talking about her extraordinary life, bringing her to parties and running errands for her. Aside from a brief squidge in one point, nobody thinks Lars is a sex freak, because they know that Lars is so one with the Buddha nature that he's not crazy, he's just lonely. Despite the fact that he's surrounded by friends.
The town gets so into the RealDoll that his friends start taking her out around the town on her own. And Lars flips out because his RealDoll has an independent life, and he really wants to date this other girl, so he decides the RealDoll is sick and she dies and they bury her and at her funeral he asks the girl he really wants out on a date.
Except this isn't presented as creepy. It's shown as a a lovable quirkiness, and it's the kind of film where I guess it's okay if you buy into the idea but it's way more interesting to ignore the intent and go and with the subtext. The whole point is that it's an awesome thing that Lars made up an imaginary girlfriend and then killed her the moment she started to lead her own independent life.
I can't wait until he strangles his new date for looking at another guy.
The Little Mermaid
I watched this again yesterday, and what strikes me about The Little Mermaid is how passive a heroine she is. I adore Ariel with all my heart - she is hands-down the most adorable of the Disney princesses, the only one who consistently looks like she's having a good time. She is joy. But in the diet of increasingly stronger female leads, even two decades ago feels a little strange.
I mean, clearly Ariel's the most intuitive of Disney princesses. She sees the love of her life, and Knows Him from the second she claps eyes upon him. But after that? She moons a lot. She gets yelled at by her Dad. She is lured into Ursula's cavern by Ursula's minions, and then essentially stands around while her friends do all the hard work for her. I mean, she knows she's going to die horribly in three days if she can't get Eric to kiss her with true love, but in the true passive-female stance she can't initiate the kiss. Or hint at it.
Ariel is wonderfully sprightly, but she doesn't do much aside from a few minor acts of rebellion. Her friends carry her. In the end, it's Prince Eric who winds up killing Ursula, which struck me as a little unsatisfying. Ariel was the one who got punked by Ursula, she should drive the ship into Ursula's black heart! (And I'm told this is what happens in the stage play.)
Little Mermaid is still my favorite Disney movie by far. But Ariel really gets by on a beautiful personality so great that others carry her. Which was fine at the time, but even now we've come a long way, baby.
Also, the deleted scenes would have you believe that Ursula is Triton's... sister. Um, right. Dudes, you may have intended her to be a sister, but there's a whole different subtext going on here that shines clear and true, and Ursula's unique brand of bitter isolation is not sisterly. I know what ex-girlfriends are like, and I suspect the problem in their relationship was not Ursula.
Star Wars
Some people hate the prequels. I love them, because they made it clear what a punk Darth Vader is.
I remember the days before the prequels. "Vader's such a badass!" the crowd would cry. And I'd take to the forums to explain that really, Vader's dangerous, but a badass? No! He's a whiny little baby.
Come on. In the first movie, he's Tarkin's lapdog, doing whatever his master tells him to do, enduring insults at the meeting table and then snapping off the power when Tarkin peeves Vader into submission. Then, in the second movie, his whole attitude is, "I can't beat the Emperor on my own - you gotta help me, Luke! Honestly, I know I just destroyed you in this one-on-one battle, but unless you give me moral support there's no way I can face up to my abusive stepdad, here!" And then in the third movie, he gets schooled by Luke when Luke channels the Dark Side way better, and then the only reason he beats the Emperor is because a) Luke cries for half a goddamned hour and b) The Emperor thinks so little of Vader that he completely ignores him. If the Emperor didn't stand around for twenty minutes with his back conveniently turned, Darth would be a goddamned roast turtle shell right now.
I argued and argued back then. Nobody was able to see past the truly awesome black plated armor. "No, he's badass!" they cried.
Thanks to the new films? They all know how whiny he is. I win.
It's a Pyrrhic victory, but I'll take it.
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![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/61912977/810751) | | From: | ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) jfargo |
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| Date: | May 22nd, 2008 03:34 pm (UTC) |
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I had the exact same problems with the Lars movie. I mean, it was painful for me to watch, and my wife loved it. I couldn't express why it was so bad, what was so wrong, and I think I'm going to have to point her towards this review. Thank you.
I'm going to have to watch the other movies all over again, for a trip down memory lane, and see if my rose-tinted glasses give way to your reviews here. I think you're right on with The Little Mermaid. I'll have to see Vader to believe it.
I saw trailers for Lar and the Real Girl some months ago and was really intrigued. I mean, it's INTERESTING. I'm even more determined to track it down now because it sure as hell isn't going to play in Orlando. *grin*
But Little Mermaid? I just can't harbor any goodwill toward Ariel. It's funny - it SHOULD be an amazing movie. It has great songs and it is visually beautiful because of the setting in a way that a lot of the other animated films just aren't. But Ariel is a passive loser and I felt that way when I first saw the movie in theaters as a teen. For you, her personality is enough to counterbalance her complete and total lack of action, but I just can't stomach that, and that's more and more true as I get older.
Honestly, I have issues with the original story as well - but that has more to do with my frustrations at the way love is portrayed in stuff like that.
However, I DO believe you are right on with the Ursula/Triton OTP thing there.
Edited at 2008-05-22 03:37 pm (UTC)
And that's a fair critique. It bothered me this time around, but it was mostly the kind of vague worry about a friend I view as largely all right. As though it should be more of an issue, but it isn't. Go figure.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/43474110/807716) | | | Mmm. Redhead in a bikini + me = OTP. | (Link) |
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Ariel is the greatest Disney Princess, for many reasons. But the top reasons, in my mind, are the red hair, and the sea-shell bikini.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/84729179/659446) | | From: | allah_sulu |
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| Date: | May 22nd, 2008 05:33 pm (UTC) |
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| | Re: Mmm. Redhead in a bikini + me = OTP. | (Link) |
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See icon.
really, Vader's dangerous, but a badass? No! He's a whiny little baby.
I have always, always, maintained that the Emperor is the only true bad-ass in Star Wars and it was borne out in every movie.
I still remember the shock the first time I saw those force lightning bolts.
I think it was Episode 2 when I finally realised that Palpatine's the hero of the prequels.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/66126880/460171) | | From: | therck |
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| Date: | May 22nd, 2008 03:51 pm (UTC) |
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My problems with Ariel on rewatching The Little Mermaid mostly center on her age. She's so young, and her father is trying to do the right things by protecting her from danger. She's really and truly not ready to take care of herself (as shown by her choices during the course of the movie). The message I take from the movie is that she was right and her father was wrong. No repercussions for being stupid as long as your heart is pure and your love true. She acts like a foolish child and is rewarded as if what she did was sensible and well planned.
Are you trying to say that turning oneself into a human so you can be close to some random dude is an impulsive thing? :-)
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/46635912/4285319) | | | That's one movie I refuse to watch | (Link) |
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Except this isn't presented as creepy. It's shown as a a lovable quirkiness, and it's the kind of film where I guess it's okay if you buy into the idea but it's way more interesting to ignore the intent and go and with the subtext. The whole point is that it's an awesome thing that Lars made up an imaginary girlfriend and then killed her the moment she started to lead her own independent life.
Brrrr. That is some fucked up shit there. Reminds me of that X-Files episode with the inbred family, the legless mother who hides under the bed, and all the cheerful ditties that get played during the creepiest parts of the show. Gag.
You are MY fantasy, bitch. That's what that says. Ownership.
I, too, love the Little Mermaid. But, it's true that she's one of the more helpless of the Disney girls.
And the women portrayed are either helpless, insipid (her sisters) or evil.
But, see, now I want to watch it...so I can sing along...it's the kind of day when I could use some Disney therapy.
I just want to Keeees da gurl!
"The whole point is that it's an awesome thing that Lars made up an imaginary girlfriend and then killed her the moment she started to lead her own independent life."
Oh, but Ferrett, the new girl's love can change him!
'cause that always works.
I know that inanimate objects have changed my life for the better on several occasions.
Little Mermaid always sorta creeped me out because I feel like it's message is that to be a "real" woman you need the approval and support of a man.
I mean, sure, all of the Disney princesses are looking for Prince charming - but they don't need him to simply be a human being, which Ariel does.
| | From: | jfargo |
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| Date: | May 22nd, 2008 04:20 pm (UTC) |
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Ooh. Now that's a really good point.
Totally with you on Star Wars.
Nobody was able to see past the truly awesome black plated armor.
I was calling Vader Tarkin's bitch back in SFMEDTWO.
Anakin a whiny little brat? Now everyone knows where Luke got it.
This is true. You do have street cred.
I find it incredibly strange that The Little Mermaid is being discussed only in the context of the Disney interpretation and not with reference to its rich history as a literary fairy tale.
I don't. The original story is incredibly depressing.
Dies, losing her eternal soul, and dissolves into foam? Not a movie people walk away feeling good about.
One of my roommates in college loved the Little Mermaid. Not the movie, mind you. The Little Mermaid.
He had a thing for redheads.
I liked the Little Mermaid, catchy tunes and all that stuff. But the one thing I asked from the very beginning was, can't Ariel read and write? Why didn't she just write a note to the prince and clue him in about what was going on?
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/65166378/807716) | | | It's a completely different written language! | (Link) |
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She writes Mermish!
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/88263291/542245) | | From: | xforge |
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| Date: | May 22nd, 2008 06:13 pm (UTC) |
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Ursula's unique brand of bitter isolation is not sisterly.
Sure, okay. What about Flora, Fauna, Merryweather, and their sister... Maleficent??? Who the hell named HER anyway?? Sheez!!
Out of curiosity, what is it about the Little Mermaid that sets it above all the other Disney animated films for you?
Well, I had this argument with my daughter the other day and I have to admit that technically speaking, Aladdin is the better film. But Little Mermaid runs a close second, and it was the film that showed me that hey, you could MAKE good Disney films in my lifetime!
You gotta remember; in 1989, Disney hadn't had a good movie in my entire twenty years of life. I grew up hearing about how great Disney was, but what did I get? Black Hole. The Sorceror's Stone. Second- and third-tier movies starring Don Knotts. So to get an honest-to-God classic?
It made me feel good about life.
As the mom of two daughters, I can't get through The Little Mermaid without screaming at the screen.
Young thing who looks *barely* pubescent sees a guy once, instantly knows he's The One, and sacrifices everything--her whole world, her voice, and if she's not careful (and kissable) her life--to be with him.
The voice bothers me especially, for some reason. It's such a part of Ariel and who she is; it's almost akin to a mutilation. If she were making a sacrifice of that magnitude to save someone she loved, maybe. But for a shot at a date? Really? This is romantic?
And she ends up needing a man to rescue her besides. Ick, ick, ptui, retch. I'll take Mulan any day.
See, I keep pushing my girls towards Belle. She's the geek princess!
Really- if one MUST have a Mermaid movie ... I think "Splash" did a lovely job of re-telling the tail without most of the objection that folks have raised here...
Are there even really any other decent mer-movies for comparison? :P
I liked the songs of Little Mermaid a lot when I was little, and I also really wanted red hair, but Ariel was never my favorite. I love Belle to pieces because I read every book I could lay my hands on from the moment I was capable of reading by myself, and she was the geeky princess who no one understood, and I felt that.
In case anyone is interested in a different take on the Little Mermaid fairy tale, Donna Jo Napoli wrote a "young adult" book called Sirena, which is basically the little mermaid fairy tale, but with a much more positive message than either the Disney or the original version. Actually, I love all of Donna Jo Napoli's books, even though I'm no longer a young adult (does that make me an old adult?).
I love you.
I did *not* know that Napoli had done The Little Mermaid. I love you.
Also, I'm on my way to the library. Which is closed. Darn.
Vader was a subordinate bad-ass, but he was still a bad-ass. Anyone who can choke you through a video-conference is pretty bad-ass.
Now? Go ahead and choke me, Vader. You're still a pussy.
Someone can be dangerous without being a bad-ass. No argument, Vader was a distinct threat from the word go, but he wasn't the main villain of the first film and he never really had to stand on his own until the end of the second one - and that was hardly a fair fight, since he was an experienced Sith fighting a barely-novice Jedi.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/68990802/839510) | | | Can I get some Belle love? | (Link) |
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I stand by Beauty and the Beast being the best Disney movie. Belle is my favourite Disney princess.
Though when I was a kid I liked Ariel too because we both had red hair.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/89657048/413999) | | | Re: Can I get some Belle love? | (Link) |
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Lion King FTW!
Thanks to the new films? They all know how whiny he is. I win. Holy crap; you're so right.
"Luke cries for half a goddamned hour"
I've never laughed so hard after reading an LJ post in my life! Totally TRUE! Give me Han Solo anyday... and just fucking fuck me already. :)
I never tire of reading your critiques. Never ceases to amuse me.
Especially this bunch. I haven't seen that first movie. I agree, Little Mermaid is awesome. I think it's my all time favorite Disney movie to date, with the exception of Beauty and the Beast... it's close to Mermaid. So true about that movie though.
Then I get down to the Star Wars critique and I laughed my arse off. So true, but so friggin hilarious!
He only really seems badass cos he walks around in the suit of death all day and talks/breathes through that respirator. He just seems menacing, that's all. |
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