The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - I Remain Amazed
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I Remain Amazed|
|Date:||April 22nd, 2008 11:23 pm (UTC)|| |
I believe that you misinterpreted my point, and that's probably my fault in sacrificing clarity for brevity. I'll try to clarify.
I don't deny anyone their reaction to the post or the Project at large. There are people with very good reasons as to why it made them uncomfortable. However, if it goes so far that someone states that they are personally afraid of Ferrett as an individual, particularly if it is after he's stated that the project will not continue, I feel that's crossing a line. For Ferrett to apologize for misunderstandings is good. To end the project because the potential for abuse is too great is also good. But to avoid the cons entirely because someone might be scared of being molested by him when there's been no implication that he ever did or would do such a thing is a reaction that is excessive.
People are faced with fear every day, and if we were to avoid every occasion with the potential for someone misunderstanding our intent we would end up going nowhere at all eventually. Further, if those people who have perhaps greater fears than the average person were to expect the world to change to suit them, rather than coming to terms with those fears, they are going to end up being sorely disappointed and likely more fearful than previously. (However I don't think that Ferrett's decision was based on anyone expecting such an action, which is another reason I feel the decision is excessive.)
To go so far as to feel personally threatened by Ferrett based on what has been written regarding the project's specifics is jumping to a very extreme conclusion and I believe implies that a person has not read carefully all of the information regarding what the project really was about, and has more to do with projecting personal fears onto Ferrett than the actual project. That is the paranoia (defining it as a disturbed thought process characterized by excessive anxiety or fear) that I was referring to.
I do agree with this to a point, and thank you for clarifying. I must have missed some of the commenters who stated a personal fear of being in a room with Ferrett, which may be part of the confusion.
I think it's a complicated decision either way. I don't want to discount the experiences of women who distrust and fear men in these situations, particularly as they tend to be influenced by experience. PTSD and hypervigilance especially are not always rational things, but they're real feelings and need to be respected. 'Dealing with them' is a big, messy issue that for some might take a LOT of therapy, and for others might never be something that fully recovers. That's the reality of the world we live in, and it IS a world that we still live in. Even if Ferrett is a good guy, a lot of people might be reluctant to give the label of 'good guy' to ANYONE, or at least to any man. After all, they might open up and trust someone who 'just made a mistake' or even 'seems nice' and find themselves attacked. For women who are often victimized multiple times, that's not such a shot in the dark.
On the other hand, Ferrett is operating from personal privilege and bias and that blinds all of us. He should be allowed to travel where he wants and interact with people. He should be able to make a mistake, and to use the discourse arising from that mistake to learn. He shouldn't be forbidden from talking about gender or interacting with women because there's a risk that he "might not get it", particularly as I'm not a regular reader of his blog but it seems like he does "get it" very often. I think the decision is excessive too, because there are ways for uncomfortable women to share con space with Ferrett and not even have to talk to him. But I wouldn't want this to prevent any women from attending a con, as I've generally found them to be wonderful places. Maybe as the heightened feelings about this pass, he might be able to work out some kind of compromise?
Hey, I'll happily say I'd still be wary of being ina room with Ferrit, though not for the obvious reasons.
My concern is that if he's a big enough fool to come up with something this grandiosely moronic, who knows what he might come up with next under the influence of a convention atmosphere? I don't want to be anywhere near him if he comes up with the bright idea to mix ammonia with bleach.
I do my best to avoid people with dangerous amounts of No Goddamn Sense. Ferrett falls into that category.
I don't want to be anywhere near him if he comes up with the bright idea to mix ammonia with bleach.
If he thinks that my body (or any other woman's body) is a magical totem that will heal his bad high school experiences, then I'd rather not be around him.