I'm not trying to be adversarial here, I'm just confused. Many people seem to be upset by this, but if you were uncomfortable with the idea wouldn't it be refreshing to be able to just put on a red button to keep the annoying men away?

Sometimes, I like to enjoy the delusion of living in a world where what a woman has on her chest isn't the primarily important thing about her, whether it be buttons or shirts or what-have-you. I'd like to live in a society where my bodily autonomy is the default and not something I or any other woman is required to indicate by a pin, or drive myself crazy trying to make the "right" clothing choices to indicate.

It's been the experience of myself and other women that we're treated as if we're perpetually wearing a freaking green button in the eyes of some men, for reasons like the lovely ferret mentioned when he said that the "beautiful girl in in an incredibly skimpy blue Princess outfit strode down the hallway, obviously putting her assets on display." That right there is a man looking for an excuse to stop a woman going about her life and put her on the spot as a sexual object by asking a really freaking horrible question that she in no way indicated she wanted to be asked. No, really: wearing an outfit ferret found hot wasn't a "yes" signal. Srsly.

What if you were your dick to 80% of the people you met. Every day, the eyes of women around you went to it. Not every woman, but enough. What if women offered comments about how you "look cold," or "warm," felt free to comment on her possible choice of undergarments, or stroke your back in a "friendly" way meant to figure out whether you've got underwear on.

What if somebody told you that now it's okay for women to grope you, whereas when they did it before at least it was frowned upon.

All you have to do to say no is pin a big red sign to this area you already feel vulnerable and objectified about. This thing that sometimes doesn't even feel like it's you anymore, because so many other people have claimed ownership of it.

Wouldn't you want to scream and shout and say "damnit, we're not even living in a world where this dick is mine, why do you have to come along and make this shit I put up with worse? Why do you have to make everything I am even MORE about this for your pleasure?"

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I kind of love you.

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Thank you!

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You are deeply awesome.

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It's been the experience of myself and other women that we're treated as if we're perpetually wearing a freaking green button in the eyes of some men, for reasons like the lovely ferret mentioned when he said that the "beautiful girl in in an incredibly skimpy blue Princess outfit strode down the hallway, obviously putting her assets on display." That right there is a man looking for an excuse to stop a woman going about her life and put her on the spot as a sexual object by asking a really freaking horrible question that she in no way indicated she wanted to be asked. No, really: wearing an outfit ferret found hot wasn't a "yes" signal. Srsly.

You are deeply and seriously awesome and Mother.Fucking.Word.

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Oh my. Yes. Thank you.

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Yes, that's it exactly.

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YES.

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&hearts

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Yes. THAT.

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Thank you, you've put my reaction as a man to this in words far better than I think I could.

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Thank you for this.

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Yes. Exactly this.

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Sing it louder, sistah, for the people in the cheap seats!

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Yes.

OP guy: I hope you can see the YESes stacking up under this comment and maybe realize that it's something you can stand to read over a few dozen times until it jostles something in your brain.

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Yes. A thousand times yes. And thank you.

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YES. YES YES YES. This exactly.

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Excellent.

I know that at several cons, notably Gaylaxicon, there is a bit of backrubbing going on. I'm one of those people that get very very uncomfortable with someone touching me without my express permission. Even if I find the person attractive, the first time they touch me without express permission, I will have a negative reaction.

I usually hug people goodbye with an announcement that they are going to get one... a warning, as it were... and I only hug those I know would be okay with it.

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Oh, I totally didn't see this comment until the_red_shoes linked it.

YES. And thank you for posting it.

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You are full of win.

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Yes. Perfect. Thank you.

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This comment. This is what I meant to say.

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Yes, exactly this. I gravitate toward geek culture because some parts of it can be a safe(r) space from the world where I perpetually feel like I'm wearing a green button, where I'm constantly judged on my looks and my clothing before my mind.

And this post just makes me so sad. It makes me glad most of my cons this year are slash cons where there will be few men so I won't have to come into contact with this. I would feel so intruded upon and unsafe at a con where this was going on.

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Yes, exactly. All of that.

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This, this, 1000X THIS.

I'd like to live in a society where my bodily autonomy is the default and not something I or any other woman is required to indicate by a pin, or drive myself crazy trying to make the "right" clothing choices to indicate.

EXACTLY.

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