The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - Miscellanea
April 5th, 2008
10:00 am

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Miscellanea
1) A friend of mine, complaining about past sex partners, once said that she "Couldn't imagine me saying anything stupid in bed to ruin the mood." Unfortunately, this has become somewhat of a catchphrase between Gini and I, because frankly breaking the mood is what I do (as immortalized in this Home on the Strange strip). Any one of my exes will tell you that I'm astonishingly prone to saying the most awful thing at the moment of greatest passion.

For example, last night. I was sharing vocabulary with Gini as we were lying in bed.

"You know when someone's going down on a woman? And they look up, and all you can see is a fringe of public hair brimmed underneath a nose?"

"Yes...."

"I figured out the name for that look. And I looked it up on Google, and it doesn't exist. I came up with a word that nobody's ever devised before."

"You don't have to - "

"Wombstache!"

She had been stroking my belly lovingly, ready to make the moves on me. Instead, she just quietly rolled over into sleep.

(No worries, I was able to shut up for long enough this morning for a lovely forty-five minute silence.)

2) Thanks to the niceness of [info]glacial23, I was able to attend Cleveland's local hackfest Notacon last night, and saw two presentations before ducking home early to finish an overdue article. The first was a presentation on the future of CSS by Eric Meyer, which was odd because I see Eric at least twice a month but had never seen him do an actual presentation. It turns out to be a lot like the Eric Meyer I know, complete with mild swearing and oddly genteel ranting, except his thoughts on CSS are artfully precise. It's no wonder he's the man in the field.

I would have stayed to say "hi" afterwards, except there was a talk on Web security and using Firefox plug-ins to test for XSS and SQL injection, given by the fine folks at Security Compass (who prompted a few minor upgrades on SCG the last time I saw them give a talk on PHP security).

I hate going to Web security talks, because every time I do I feel like crying. They always have to preface it with how serious Web security is, and they do so by listing the horror stories out there now. If you look at the stats on the number of web vulnerabilities, it's kind of terrifying; we're in the Wild West stages of Intarwebs security, and their tales of managers scoffing at being told they're vulnerable to XSS attacks going, "So we have a pop-up box. What's the worst they could do?" make me want to punch someone. It's scary how little some people care, and even scarier how many people on the other side do care.

3) My daughter Amy was complaining to Gini the other day about going to her first con. Now, as it turns out, she loved it - being in a room where everyone she looked at was an anime fan at least as rabid as her was an experience not to be missed. She raved about how wonderful it was to be among her own kind, and I had to talk her through the Monday post-con letdown.

But now that time had passed, she was ranting about the number of large people who tried to cosplay and wore outfits terrifyingly unsuited to their body type. She has no problem with fat people, but what looks good on a ninety-pound person looks awful on a two hundred-pound girl, and vice versa. You have to dress appropriately to look sexy, and never more so than when you're a four-hundred pound man attempting to imitate a waifish girl superhero.

Leading me to exclaim, "That's no Sailor Moon - that's a space station!"

(Tell me I'm full of it)

Comments
 
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From:[info]suzieboz
Date:April 5th, 2008 02:41 pm (UTC)
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"Wombstache!"

Oh boy are you going to be but the teachers pet at the writing school.

Mouth open.
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From:[info]kitashla
Date:April 5th, 2008 03:35 pm (UTC)
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So, we have a running joke in our house. We'd been married for about 7 or 8 months. (Baby was only a couple of months old.) We're having sex and I'm having some pain and I realize why.

I lean down and say quietly to him "I think I have a bladder infection" except it comes out all seductive like. TOTALLY broke the mood. He laughed and just couldn't stop.

Now at various occasions during sex, he'll start out like he's going to the dirty talk thing and break out with "I think I have a bladder infection."

I'll get him back. I've already informed him that I'm going to be lying on my death bed and I'm going to ask him to lean close to get out those final last words.

And it's TOTALLY going to be, "I think I have a bladder infection."

Edited at 2008-04-05 03:35 pm (UTC)
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From:[info]amurana
Date:April 5th, 2008 04:07 pm (UTC)
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I had a partner once who *loved* breaking the mood. His favorite two things were to either start humming circus music or to start complimenting my skillz in cartoon voices.
AUGH.
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From:[info]kellirose1313
Date:April 5th, 2008 04:11 pm (UTC)
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A guy in that position makes me think of Kilroy.
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From:[info]cynicalcleric
Date:April 6th, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC)
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I had never thought of that before, but I have to applaud the comparison.
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From:[info]xerxes_of_diren
Date:April 5th, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC)

Well as far as con stories go

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I'm glad I'm not the only one that was shocked the first time they met sailor whale. I think he meant well, and his costume was the real thing only much bigger. It's just a little shocking the first time.
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From:[info]eriknoble
Date:April 6th, 2008 01:31 am (UTC)

Re: Well as far as con stories go

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There used to be a "Sailor Dude" that showed up at a number of cons that just looked so depressed and miserable it was pathetic. He even got his own reference in the MacHall comic (I don't remember when). He was actually worse than being confronted by Sailor Bubba and the Testosterone Scouts....
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From:[info]andrewducker
Date:April 5th, 2008 04:17 pm (UTC)
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[info]is_not_well: I'm so glad you're not like [info]theferrett.
[info]andrewducker: _I_ thought it was funny.
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From:[info]joemorf
Date:April 5th, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
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But... but... what if she shaves?

~j
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From:[info]crasch
Date:April 5th, 2008 08:16 pm (UTC)
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Then it's a clamkiss.
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From:[info]nightskywarlock
Date:April 5th, 2008 05:32 pm (UTC)
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a while back, Questionable Content had a strip about the worst possible thing to say during sex.

so far, no one has beaten my ♪ i shall do it with my spear and magic helmet! ♪

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From:[info]weds
Date:April 5th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
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...you mean that doesn't work for you?

Damn. My checkered past is nonrepresentative.
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From:[info]zillah3
Date:April 5th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
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"I hate going to Web security talks, because every time I do I feel like crying. They always have to preface it with how serious Web security is, and they do so by listing the horror stories out there now."


I have problems reading some articles in parenting magazines for the very same reason. Kinda hard to learn how to prevent drowning when the first few paragraphs make me want to ensure my kids are never near a pool. :(
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From:[info]styfen
Date:April 5th, 2008 06:27 pm (UTC)
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We always called it a Merkinstache, but Wombstache might be better. :D
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From:[info]kisekinotenshi
Date:April 5th, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC)

Regarding #3

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That is why I have refused to ever cosplay. My friends keep going "but OMG we could go as a group" and I give them a glare and go "and why do you think anyone wants to see another fat girl dressed up as some guy who has a fourteen inch waist?" x.x I didn't like seeing them when I went to anime cons (it's been a while, something keeps coming up), I certainly don't want to become one of them.
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From:[info]southernoracle
Date:April 5th, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
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If the original is mustache, then doesn't mufstache work better? I'm just sayin.

And if wombstache catches on, then you've created a Sniglet!
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From:[info]chef_troy
Date:April 5th, 2008 09:47 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, "womb" = "uterus." You're not diving that deep, are you?

I suggest "monstache" (after mons pubis), although I have to admit "muffstache" sounds less like where a Jamaican keeps his weed.
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From:[info]owlswater
Date:April 7th, 2008 08:53 am (UTC)
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I believe "muffstache" is how you'd pronounce it (moustache) from down there anyway, so that works for me.
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From:[info]ladybugpj
Date:April 6th, 2008 10:34 am (UTC)
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I think I might sue you if you keep describing Badspock and I's love life. ;)

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From:[info]cynicalcleric
Date:April 6th, 2008 07:00 pm (UTC)

You have to dress appropriately to look sexy

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I know some girls who look quite attractive despite being overweight. And I know at least overweight girl who goes for the hideous look because she's constantly wearing tight middrift exposing shirts.
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