The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - The Many Deaths of Gary Gygax

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March 4th, 2008
02:02 pm

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The Many Deaths of Gary Gygax
I will now attempt to compile a complete list of all the bad "Gary Gygax,the founder of D&D is dead, so here's a D&D reference" jokes 'pon this very web page. If you see a clever reference somewhere, (or think of a particularly interesting one on your own), leave a comment I'll add it to the list.

So far, Gary:

  • ...Has fumbled his critical

  • ...Has failed his final saving throw

  • ...Rolled a "01" on the ol' twenty-sider

  • ...Lost the last initiative roll

  • ...Failed his save vs. Death Magic

  • ...Had his age modifier to Con get higher than his base stat

  • ...Now has to roll on the Outer Planes encounter table

  • ...Had no clerics of sufficient level to cast Resurrection (which is good, since Gary would be restored to "full health and vigor" and probably re-drop dead a few days later)

  • ...Needs 5,000 gold pieces in diamonds

  • ...Needs a new character sheet

  • ...Had to roll up a new character

  • ...Was finally gotten by the gazebo

  • ...Became a lich

  • ...Can finally see behind the DM's screen

  • ...Failed his fortitude save

  • ...Will be critically missed

  • ...Wishes he'd rolled up an elf

  • ...Pissed off the DM one too many times

  • ...Played with the vorpal sword

  • ...Run out of hit points

  • ...Come to the end of his last module

  • ...Ascended to Godhood (though I don't doubt there will be a Gygax temple somewhere in Greyhawk)

  • ...Has gone to the great dungeon crawl in the sky

  • ...Is choosing between The Seven Heavens, Elysium, The Twin Paradises or the Happy Hunting Grounds

  • ...Has met Chuck Norris.

  • ...Didn't make it through "Keep on the Borderlands".

  • ...Failed his system shock survival roll.

  • ...Grafting the Head of Vecna.

  • ...Is rolling in his grave.

  • ...Is playtesting the Astral Plane for 4th Edition.

  • ...Needs a druid to cast reincarnate.

  • ...Has reached Epic level and ascended.

  • ...Has lost all his dice.

  • ...Has levelled up.

  • ...Has finally changed game systems.

  • ...Is picking the lock on the Pearly Gates.

  • ...Has finally changed game systems.

  • ...Fell to Tucker's Kobolds.



I know there will be more. I'm just compiling the list, is all.

(Also, if you're arriving here from a tasteless source, please look at my new webcomic, My Name Is Might Have Been, which just went live yesterday! /End plug.)

(Tell me I'm full of it)

Comments
 
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[User Picture]
From:[info]ailsaek
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:05 pm (UTC)
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E. Gary Gygax now rolls on Outer Planes encounter table. (Courtesy of [info]james_nicoll)
[User Picture]
From:[info]photognome
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:07 pm (UTC)
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LOL, I posted mine 10 minutes ago...

http://photognome.livejournal.com/252658.html
[User Picture]
From:[info]scifantasy
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:07 pm (UTC)
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And there's no clerics to cast Resurrection.
[User Picture]
From:[info]allah_sulu
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:08 pm (UTC)
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I think you're missing a </a>
[User Picture]
From:[info]frito_kal
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:10 pm (UTC)
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http://www.metafilter.com/69599/HP-1

From metafilter. Although it was meant in tribute, not to be tasteless.

and, of course, fark.com

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3443526

(you've borked your /a, so I can't tell if you've linked to these)

Edited at 2008-03-04 07:11 pm (UTC)
[User Picture]
From:[info]fax_celestis
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:11 pm (UTC)
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...needs a new sheet.
[User Picture]
From:[info]jfargo
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
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*laughs* I was just linking him to you, seconds after you apparently.
[User Picture]
From:[info]jfargo
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
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How about from [info]fax_celestis: "Break out a new sheet."
[User Picture]
From:[info]yendi
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
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. . . is now a lich.
[User Picture]
From:[info]naamah_darling
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
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Variation on a theme. Post, titled: "The Day The Music Rolled A D20 (And Scored A 1)"

Here.
[User Picture]
From:[info]theferrett
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:25 pm (UTC)
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Heh.

Incidentally, I was looking through old photos last night, and found cheesecake shots you sent me a long time ago.

I dig the craftswork you do, which I wish I could afford, but I feel it should be stated for the record once again: You are really, really cute.
[User Picture]
From:[info]vrax
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
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...Can finally see behind the DM's screen
[User Picture]
From:[info]flaviarassen
Date:March 5th, 2008 06:08 am (UTC)
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Now that's beautiful!
[User Picture]
From:[info]montykins
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
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I've seen someone going to some lengths to deliver a joke that involved the idea that "Raise Dead" doesn't work on people who have died of old age, which is Gygax's own fault.
[User Picture]
From:[info]photognome
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)

a reply from one of my friends...

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"Yeah.... we're already planning on casting light (15'r) in memory."
[User Picture]
From:[info]jnanacandra
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:23 pm (UTC)
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...failed his fortitude save"
[User Picture]
From:[info]scifantasy
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:25 pm (UTC)
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A good one I just saw:

"He will be critically missed."
[User Picture]
From:[info]streon
Date:March 4th, 2008 09:11 pm (UTC)
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That's fantastic.
[User Picture]
From:[info]purpura
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:26 pm (UTC)
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...The cleric in his party failed his roll!
[User Picture]
From:[info]anivair
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
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... wishes he'd rolled an elf.
... just said, "Come on, who uses the old age chart!?"

I'll miss the old bugger.
[User Picture]
From:[info]vulcan_rc
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
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The weasels on Twitter have started.

Here is a link to the search index. At least two of the entries do not count, as they are castigating those making the jokes.

Alternately, you can subscribe to an RSS feed of people making the same lame "failed saving throw" joke.
[User Picture]
From:[info]thetathx1138
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC)
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Wow, things move FAST on the 'Net.
[User Picture]
From:[info]evilbutcute
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:36 pm (UTC)
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*giggle at gazebo line*

GG: 0HP

:(
[User Picture]
From:[info]jfargo
Date:March 4th, 2008 08:15 pm (UTC)
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-10HP, actually.
[User Picture]
From:[info]thetathx1138
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC)
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Somebody better versed than I will make a THACO joke, I have no doubt.
[User Picture]
From:[info]jfargo
Date:March 4th, 2008 08:16 pm (UTC)
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I would think that if you're going to go 2nd Edition, you'd go with "failed his 'save vs death' roll," or something.

Always hated those rolls.
[User Picture]
From:[info]hughcasey
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:41 pm (UTC)
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...Missed his saving throw, and run out of hit points.
[User Picture]
From:[info]ministry_victim
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:43 pm (UTC)
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... has pissed off the DM one too many times.
[User Picture]
From:[info]dr_nebula
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC)
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As he discovered, fumbling with a vorpal sword isn't a good option..
[User Picture]
From:[info]caudelac
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
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...deified and retired his original character.

Temples will now begin to appear in Greyhawk.
[User Picture]
From:[info]fax_celestis
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
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...calls for 1d6 minutes of silence.

...calls for a 1d20+1 gun salute.
[User Picture]
From:[info]als_wonderland
Date:March 5th, 2008 03:09 am (UTC)
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OMG. Best Wake Ever.

This man has brought so much fun to so many people.
[User Picture]
From:[info]kishi
Date:March 4th, 2008 07:51 pm (UTC)
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"Quick, someone look up the loot table for a 20th level game designer."
[User Picture]
From:[info]meaningrequired
Date:March 4th, 2008 10:01 pm (UTC)
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Yeah - a friend of mine just asked me whether he dropped any good loot.
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