theferrett: The Many Deaths of Gary Gygax

The Ferrett (

theferrett) wrote,
@ 2008-03-04 14:02:00

The Many Deaths of Gary Gygax
I will now attempt to compile a complete list of all the bad "Gary Gygax,the founder of D&D is dead, so here's a D&D reference" jokes 'pon this very web page. If you see a clever reference somewhere, (or think of a particularly interesting one on your own), leave a comment I'll add it to the list.

So far, Gary:

...Has fumbled his critical

...Has failed his final saving throw

...Rolled a "01" on the ol' twenty-sider

...Lost the last initiative roll

...Failed his save vs. Death Magic

...Had his age modifier to Con get higher than his base stat

...Now has to roll on the Outer Planes encounter table

...Had no clerics of sufficient level to cast Resurrection (which is good, since Gary would be restored to "full health and vigor" and probably re-drop dead a few days later)

...Needs 5,000 gold pieces in diamonds

...Needs a new character sheet

...Had to roll up a new character

...Was finally gotten by the gazebo

...Became a lich

...Can finally see behind the DM's screen

...Failed his fortitude save

...Will be critically missed

...Wishes he'd rolled up an elf

...Pissed off the DM one too many times

...Played with the vorpal sword

...Run out of hit points

...Come to the end of his last module

...Ascended to Godhood (though I don't doubt there will be a Gygax temple somewhere in Greyhawk)

...Has gone to the great dungeon crawl in the sky

...Is choosing between The Seven Heavens, Elysium, The Twin Paradises or the Happy Hunting Grounds

...Has met Chuck Norris.

...Didn't make it through "Keep on the Borderlands".

...Failed his system shock survival roll.

...Grafting the Head of Vecna.

...Is rolling in his grave.

...Is playtesting the Astral Plane for 4th Edition.

...Needs a druid to cast reincarnate.

...Has reached Epic level and ascended.

...Has lost all his dice.

...Has levelled up.

...Has finally changed game systems.

...Is picking the lock on the Pearly Gates.

...Has finally changed game systems.

...Fell to Tucker's Kobolds.

I know there will be more. I'm just compiling the list, is all.

(Also, if you're arriving here from a tasteless source, please look at my new webcomic, My Name Is Might Have Been, which just went live yesterday! /End plug.)

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(Post a new comment)

	ailsaek 2008-03-04 07:05 pm UTC (link)
	E. Gary Gygax now rolls on Outer Planes encounter table. (Courtesy of james_nicoll) (Reply to this)

	photognome 2008-03-04 07:07 pm UTC (link)
	LOL, I posted mine 10 minutes ago... http://photognome.livejournal.com/252658.html (Reply to this)

	scifantasy 2008-03-04 07:07 pm UTC (link)
	And there's no clerics to cast Resurrection. (Reply to this)

	allah_sulu 2008-03-04 07:08 pm UTC (link)
	I think you're missing a </a> (Reply to this)

	frito_kal 2008-03-04 07:10 pm UTC (link)
	http://www.metafilter.com/69599/HP-1 From metafilter. Although it was meant in tribute, not to be tasteless. and, of course, fark.com http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3443526 (you've borked your /a, so I can't tell if you've linked to these) Edited at 2008-03-04 07:11 pm UTC (Reply to this)

	fax_celestis 2008-03-04 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	...needs a new sheet. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	jfargo 2008-03-04 07:13 pm UTC (link)
	How about from fax_celestis: "Break out a new sheet." (Reply to this)

	yendi 2008-03-04 07:13 pm UTC (link)
	. . . is now a lich. (Reply to this)

	naamah_darling 2008-03-04 07:18 pm UTC (link)
	Variation on a theme. Post, titled: "The Day The Music Rolled A D20 (And Scored A 1)" Here. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	vrax 2008-03-04 07:19 pm UTC (link)
	...Can finally see behind the DM's screen (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	montykins 2008-03-04 07:19 pm UTC (link)
	I've seen someone going to some lengths to deliver a joke that involved the idea that "Raise Dead" doesn't work on people who have died of old age, which is Gygax's own fault. (Reply to this)

	a reply from one of my friends... photognome 2008-03-04 07:20 pm UTC (link)
	"Yeah.... we're already planning on casting light (15'r) in memory." (Reply to this)

	shimmeringjemmy 2008-03-04 07:23 pm UTC (link)
	...failed his fortitude save" (Reply to this)

	scifantasy 2008-03-04 07:25 pm UTC (link)
	A good one I just saw: "He will be critically missed." (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	purpura 2008-03-04 07:26 pm UTC (link)
	...The cleric in his party failed his roll! (Reply to this)

	anivair 2008-03-04 07:27 pm UTC (link)
	... wishes he'd rolled an elf. ... just said, "Come on, who uses the old age chart!?" I'll miss the old bugger. (Reply to this)

	vulcan_rc 2008-03-04 07:28 pm UTC (link)
	The weasels on Twitter have started. Here is a link to the search index. At least two of the entries do not count, as they are castigating those making the jokes. Alternately, you can subscribe to an RSS feed of people making the same lame "failed saving throw" joke. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	evilbutcute 2008-03-04 07:36 pm UTC (link)
	giggle at gazebo line GG: 0HP :( (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	thetathx1138 2008-03-04 07:37 pm UTC (link)
	Somebody better versed than I will make a THACO joke, I have no doubt. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	hughcasey 2008-03-04 07:41 pm UTC (link)
	...Missed his saving throw, and run out of hit points. (Reply to this)

	ministry_victim 2008-03-04 07:43 pm UTC (link)
	... has pissed off the DM one too many times. (Reply to this)

	dr_nebula 2008-03-04 07:44 pm UTC (link)
	As he discovered, fumbling with a vorpal sword isn't a good option.. (Reply to this)

	caudelac 2008-03-04 07:46 pm UTC (link)
	...deified and retired his original character. Temples will now begin to appear in Greyhawk. (Reply to this)

	fax_celestis 2008-03-04 07:50 pm UTC (link)
	...calls for 1d6 minutes of silence. ...calls for a 1d20+1 gun salute. (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

	kishi 2008-03-04 07:51 pm UTC (link)
	"Quick, someone look up the loot table for a 20th level game designer." (Reply to this)(Thread)(Expand)

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