| The Ferrett ( @ 2008-03-04 14:02:00 |
The Many Deaths of Gary Gygax
I will now attempt to compile a complete list of all the bad "Gary Gygax,the founder of D&D is dead, so here's a D&D reference" jokes 'pon this very web page. If you see a clever reference somewhere, (or think of a particularly interesting one on your own), leave a comment I'll add it to the list.
So far, Gary:
I know there will be more. I'm just compiling the list, is all.
(Also, if you're arriving here from a tasteless source, please look at my new webcomic, My Name Is Might Have Been, which just went live yesterday! /End plug.)
I will now attempt to compile a complete list of all the bad "Gary Gygax,the founder of D&D is dead, so here's a D&D reference" jokes 'pon this very web page. If you see a clever reference somewhere, (or think of a particularly interesting one on your own), leave a comment I'll add it to the list.
So far, Gary:
- ...Has fumbled his critical
- ...Has failed his final saving throw
- ...Rolled a "01" on the ol' twenty-sider
- ...Lost the last initiative roll
- ...Failed his save vs. Death Magic
- ...Had his age modifier to Con get higher than his base stat
- ...Now has to roll on the Outer Planes encounter table
- ...Had no clerics of sufficient level to cast Resurrection (which is good, since Gary would be restored to "full health and vigor" and probably re-drop dead a few days later)
- ...Needs 5,000 gold pieces in diamonds
- ...Needs a new character sheet
- ...Had to roll up a new character
- ...Was finally gotten by the gazebo
- ...Became a lich
- ...Can finally see behind the DM's screen
- ...Failed his fortitude save
- ...Will be critically missed
- ...Wishes he'd rolled up an elf
- ...Pissed off the DM one too many times
- ...Played with the vorpal sword
- ...Run out of hit points
- ...Come to the end of his last module
- ...Ascended to Godhood (though I don't doubt there will be a Gygax temple somewhere in Greyhawk)
- ...Has gone to the great dungeon crawl in the sky
- ...Is choosing between The Seven Heavens, Elysium, The Twin Paradises or the Happy Hunting Grounds
- ...Has met Chuck Norris.
- ...Didn't make it through "Keep on the Borderlands".
- ...Failed his system shock survival roll.
- ...Grafting the Head of Vecna.
- ...Is rolling in his grave.
- ...Is playtesting the Astral Plane for 4th Edition.
- ...Needs a druid to cast reincarnate.
- ...Has reached Epic level and ascended.
- ...Has lost all his dice.
- ...Has levelled up.
- ...Has finally changed game systems.
- ...Is picking the lock on the Pearly Gates.
- ...Has finally changed game systems.
- ...Fell to Tucker's Kobolds.
I know there will be more. I'm just compiling the list, is all.
(Also, if you're arriving here from a tasteless source, please look at my new webcomic, My Name Is Might Have Been, which just went live yesterday! /End plug.)