The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - A Story And A Query: Your Worst Moment During Sex?
August 24th, 2003
01:07 pm

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A Story And A Query: Your Worst Moment During Sex?

(191 shouts of denial | Tell me I'm full of it)

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From:(Anonymous)
Date:August 25th, 2003 08:53 pm (UTC)
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zoethe linked to this, so blame her ;)

Many years ago, I had a long-distance and online relationship that drifted somewhere between friendship and dating. She lived in another state, so we didn't see each other often, and her two daughters were often present when we did. We spent a lot of time cuddling, and sometimes slept curled up, but weren't actually lovers. I don't know if the girls figured that out, or not.

Somewhere along the way, the company I was working for had a close-the-doors type layoff, and I had an interview offer from an outfit based where she lived. I agreed to fly up for the interview, and they put me up in a nice hotel downtown. She picked me up at the airport, and took me to the hotel. She normally worked nights, so she had said that she was going to work, so they didn't expect her home.

We cuddled and talked and fell asleep curled up in each others arms, partly dressed, partly not - although mostly not. A bit more risque than normaly for us.

During the night, I woke up to find her tugging down my undies and climbing on top of me. I was somewhat surprised, but wasn't about to argue! As we climaxed, she pantomimed stabbing me with a knife, and slumped on top of me. OK, at this point I'm somewhat disturbed.

When I try to talk to her, she mumbles and seems half asleep, so I hold her and fall back asleep, puzzled.

In the morning, she wakes up, sits up, and asks:
um... why am I not wearing any panties?

O..K...

I responded, "You... took them off last night, before you took mine off and climbed on top of me"

Her response: oh

Of course, by now I'm thinking "Shit. She doesn't remember."

So I tell her about it, including the pantomimed stabbing of my chest...

Then she goes on to explain how she had an odd dream, where she had to infiltrate someplace, and seduced a guard to do so, and stabbed him.

She's talked about dreams like that before and after, so I believe her.

Um. So yeah. I was a 2-bit actor in someone's dream. not even worth a name...

And she didn't even know she'd done it for real.
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From:theferrett
Date:August 25th, 2003 09:19 pm (UTC)
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I blame my wife for everything, of course.

In the "not quite as bad" department, why don't you ask her to tell you about the night before our wedding? There's an amusing blackout story as well, but why should I have all the fun?

Wait. By making her tell it, I AM having all the fun...

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