The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - A Story And A Query: Your Worst Moment During Sex?
August 24th, 2003
01:07 pm

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A Story And A Query: Your Worst Moment During Sex?

(191 shouts of denial | Tell me I'm full of it)

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From:(Anonymous)
Date:August 25th, 2003 10:13 am (UTC)

The Offical Scumbag Sex Story

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One day me and my lady were playing in a local Magic tourny. Typical 1.5 unsanctioned if-yer-convincing-during-a-rules-argument-it-goes-your-way tourny, right?

Eventually, I'm pitted against her. She brought along a proof-of-concept deck that was semi-working at that point, but wasn't working too great.

Well, the thing about Kara and I, is that when we're competing, we get horny. Big time. Our friend Linz once said "watching you two play basketball is like 2 steps away from you two fucking", or something to that extent.

I win, and thats her final loss, she's out. I can tell she's itching for some ScumWang, so I tell the guy to auto-scoop me from the rest of my matches.

We get home, and we're going at it like bunnies, I swear to god. We're talking close-the-blinds-and-turn-on-some-music-so-we-aren't-keeping-the-people-above-us-awake going at it, right?

In the middle of it, she slows down and stops. I ask "whats the matter"? She says "one second" with an empty look on her face. Pulls out, bow-leggedly walks over to the computer and pulls up some Magic website.

She comes back, throws a tennis ball at my jimmies, and screams "you cheated! Sacrificing a goblin is an additional cost of playing Goblin Grenade, so if I counter it, the Goblin is still gone! gaaah!".

Turned around, went into the shower.

And that, my friends, is why I have the weirdest relationship ever. I blueballed because I thought you sacrifice a Goblin after the spell resolves.

Damn them goblins.

-C
She apologized later, and let me watch when she made out with Linz a couple days later.
From:amethest
Date:June 14th, 2008 09:40 am (UTC)

Re: The Offical Scumbag Sex Story

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I gotta say, I like the way your girl apologizes. She got a sister?
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