The Watchtower of Destruction: The Ferrett's Journal - Post a comment
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10:39 pm

correspondguy

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I have two, and they're both amateurish, but I like 'em
So, one day back in 1992, I'm visiting my girlfriend at college (I graduated in 1991, and she was still there). She's got this itty-bitty single up at the top of the dorm - a room so small that the college, money-grubbers that they are, have realized that there's no way two people could ever live in this room and they don't charge the price of a single room for it.

That's beside the point, but I wanted to set the scene.

Of more importance is the fact that this is an all-female dorm. There is one, and only one, men's bathroom, and that's in the basement. Michelle's room is perched on the top of the building.

After wine, sex, and more wine, I'm a little tipsy and really have to pee. I get out of the warm bed and tiptoe down four flights of stairs.

The door's hard to open, and when I do open it, I see the most ridiculous sex I've ever seen.

A guy was ass-nekkid, wearing a cowbow hat and boots, superimposed on his also nekkid girlfriend, going at it on the tile floor.

What do you say to that? I mumbled "Excuse me" and backed out, hiked up the stairs, and got Michelle to stand guard while I used the bathroom on her floor.

Second story:

My Freshman year girlfriend was the first sex-with-regularity relationship I had, so I forgot about roommate issues.

One day, we THOUGHT we'd locked the door. We were in coitus medius when we hear:

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So, one day back in 1992, I'm visiting my girlfriend at college (I graduated in 1991, and she was still there). She's got this itty-bitty single up at the top of the dorm - a room so small that the college, money-grubbers that they are, have realized that there's no way two people could ever live in this room and they don't charge the price of a single room for it.

That's beside the point, but I wanted to set the scene.

Of more importance is the fact that this is an all-female dorm. There is one, and only one, men's bathroom, and that's in the basement. Michelle's room is perched on the top of the building.

After wine, sex, and more wine, I'm a little tipsy and really have to pee. I get out of the warm bed and tiptoe down four flights of stairs.

The door's hard to open, and when I do open it, I see the most ridiculous sex I've ever seen.

A guy was ass-nekkid, wearing a cowbow hat and boots, superimposed on his also nekkid girlfriend, going at it on the tile floor.

What do you say to that? I mumbled "Excuse me" and backed out, hiked up the stairs, and got Michelle to stand guard while I used the bathroom on her floor.

Second story:

My Freshman year girlfriend was the first sex-with-regularity relationship I had, so I forgot about roommate issues.

One day, we THOUGHT we'd locked the door. We were in coitus medius when we hear:

<rattle, rattle, click> "OH, SHIT!" <Slam>

Me: "Who was that?"
June: "Um...my eyes were closed."
"Well, my back was to the door."
"Who the hell was it, then?"
"We can only hope it was my roommate."

TWO WEEKS go by before John and I say anything - I don't want to say anything in case it wasn't him, and he doesn't want to say anything in case I had suddenly been struck deaf and didn't know it was him.

Finally, I say "Dude? Was that you two weeks ago?"
"Yeah."
"We need a signal."
"Oh, hell, yeah."
Tell me I'm full of it:
 

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